Gossip Girl 5.11 ‘The End of the Affair?’ photo recap: Gotz Tuh Roll Bounce

by Michael Collado | Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 1:20am ET

Well, Gossip Girl finally returned to our screens, everyone. Some say it was the worst episode ever; I say it was the most interesting. Apparently, “interesting” to me means a record-breaking 213 caps. Wow. I am really tired, to say the least.

If you want my (somewhat real) thoughts as well, I and other writers did a roundtable discussion about the episode.

But until you read that, here’s my photo recap of Gossip Girl episode 5.11 “The End of the Affair?” I hope you enjoy it.

Shows: | Categories: Photo Recaps

Michael Collado

Michael Collado

Creator / Editor-in-Chief | Michael is the creator of NoWhiteNoise. What began as a blog written solely by him with 10 pageviews a week has slowly grown into a fun and adventurous — albeit small — television site. His current favorites on television now are Chuck (he's in denial that it's over), The Vampire Diaries, and Cougar Town. View Michael Collado's check-ins on GetGlue.
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  • Jen

    HAHAHA this was the best recap ever!!! I love all the Louis and Serena and Nate caps. Dear god this was hilarious. <3

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you very much. Glad you liked it! I liked it myself a lot, actually. It’s weird.

  • Tiff

    THIS IS AWESOME SAUCE, BRO!  Best one yet, and please, please blog at least the Rihanna bits on tumblr.  You just keep getting better (no pressure).

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      LOL I put the Rihanna stuff on Tumblr. Told you you’d like that opening!!!

  • Sarah

    This re cap is worth all of the work it took for you to make it.  I still have issues with Dan going along with Blair’s plain he just wants to be around her and isn’t really helping her. Serena also needs her head examined too she just wants to be with Dan for which I will never understand why anyone would want him but that is just me. They aren’t protecting Blair they are doing her and Chuck more harm than good.

    Sorry I have been in rant mode today. But your recap helped me feel a little bit better

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Why thank you. It WAS a lot of work, but I think it was hilarious. (Again, because I’m so self-important.)

      Hahaha let’s not talk about the plot xD

    • Lola

      That’s not true. In at least two scenes, it was made clear that Dan has been trying to convince Blair not to get married to Louis but she just won’t listen.

  • caitie

    I missed these! I think the Chuck/Louis scenes translated especially well to recap, lol.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      You can stand under my umbrella…

  • http://twitter.com/MegamiTenchi Kate

    Omg, flawless!!! :D  I liked the jab at the writer the best I think :P  And the Umbrella bit! Oh and cracking on Dan’s mane… seriously, you were just on fire. “Oh shit, my uterus.” buahahahahaha <3 

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      I was on fire?? Well then, thank you. I LOVED OH SHIT MY UTERUS!!!!! Her face tho!

  • Applejacks

    How come no tumblr moment for the dair hug? Anyway boi, nice job. The limo was totally not noticeable…

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thanks boiiiii. And I kind of didn’t make a Tumblr moment for the Chair scene either. But IDK I guess the Lion King reference was just funnier to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have my weekly dose of Disney reference for the recap. Gotta keep that quota up.

  • http://twitter.com/cosmokaramel Duygu S

    LMAO!! Thank you for this recap I really needed laughing after this episode!!

    Dan and Blair didin’t notice a big limo! Come on Blair loves limos she would have noticed LOL. One thing I really don’t get is why Louis is getting married with this Blair in the first place? SHE DOESN’T LOVE YOU!! SHE WAS GONNA DUMP YOU!! WHAT KIND OF A BACKBONELESS ARE YOU!!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      I know that limo thing was so ridiculous! How…? I don’t. Anyway, Louis is redehcoolus, we all know this.

  • http://twitter.com/VHppDth Аня Куница

    You’re awesome! Russia loves your recaps! :D

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      America loves your comments! :D

  • Dwoods87

    This is hilarious. XD

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you, I made it myself.

  • Firieness

    This recap is the best!!! It even made worthy watching this depressing/weird/nonsensical GG episode…

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Your comment is the best!!! It’s even made me half-watching The Vampire Diaries episode right now worth it.

  • Natalia

    Lol! This was great. I liked a lot of the episode, especially the Dair moments. Chuck and Blair are as contrived as ever and Louis is still ~evil for some reason but it was still fun. This was even more fun!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you, thank you. God would disagree with you.

  • Melu

    LOLOLOL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO  LOUIS RCAPS ARE THE BEST, i love the way everyone hates his accent lol

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      I don’t HATE it as much as I don’t understand anything he says.

  • God

    Boom she clack clack.. Boom she clack clack..

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      BOOM SHE CLACK CLACK!!!!!!

  • Leah

    Seriously, I’ll be singing “Boom she clack clack” for weeks. I loved the recap, you did great, but I hated the episode in itself, I think that thankfully, Leighton’s and Ed’s performance might have saved it a bit, it had a ridiculous storyline! Since when did Blair believe in signs? she said manytimes that she didn’t believe in that! I was saying to myself “this is ridiculous” the whole episode, and I reminded me to Louis. I hate him, he is “forcing” Blair to marry him, when clearly she isn’t happy in that couple.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      The episode was interesting, yes. And the writing was… terrible, yes. Whaddya gonna do? Safran said so… so just take it lying down :P

      And boom she clack clack to you!

  • Karlos

    IDK but I really liked this episode. I think I’m the only one. Damn.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      You’re not the only one, trust me. This episode was executed very well (in some ways, like… you know… well there are some I just can’t think of it right now).

  • http://twitter.com/StarryStarSky (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ♥

    “we can never beeee!” lmao

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Lies! Truths!

  • Jordan Smith

    I just have to say that your caps are my favorite things ever :)  

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Aw shucks, you’re making me blush :*)

  • http://www.facebook.com/camilamjt Camila Miranda

    this is so funny! it’s definetly on my favorite recaps list! the Rihanna parts were the best, really, lol.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Yeah, this is one of my favorite recaps ever, too (that I’ve done). My previous favorite was Rhodes to Perdition. IDK it might be a tie.

  • http://twitter.com/carlybb Carly

    That opening Chuck/Louis Rhianna sequence is genius! LOL Nate & Serena scenes seems to be comedy gold…sometimes they’re just so blonde. :D Thanks for the laugh after such a terrible episode.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you, thank you. I tweeted out that you guys would like that opening.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1437159379 Millán Aileen

    Totally loved it, can’t wait for the next episode so you can recap it

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Oh brother! Now I have to live up to this one?? I’m gonna alternate one week having a good recap then the next week a bad one.

  • http://twitter.com/jennkellysays Jennifer Kelly

    Oh my goodness! This was so hilarious! Love the Serena caps when Blair is telling her about the deal. The whole “LOLWUT? Is this April 1st?” thing was genius!

    Also the inconspicuous limo-stalking, thank-you for pointing that out!

    Of course, the umbrella-Rihanna part too. Just too many hilarious parts this recap! Can’t wait for next week!!!!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      NOOOO!!! Keep expectations low. Always. And then you won’t be disappointed w/ my shitty recap next week :D

  • anon123

    your recap is wayyyyy better than the actual episode, really.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Aw shucks, thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/maribells01 Maria

    The parts that made me actually snarf aloud- Louis and his beret, Chuck’s “Really? REALLY?!” and Serena’s “LOLWUT”. Brilliant recap as usual. Thanks for making me feel better about this total shitstorm of an episode.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      It wasn’t THAT bad… was it? XD Anyway, glad you liked it :D

  • dee.

    AHAHAHAHA, this is all kinds of awesome.
    i am seriously just waiting for the episodes so i can come see your recaps, at this point. gg has been going down for a long time, but you somehow manage to save it. chuck’s ‘REALLY?’ was golden. but i mean, seriously? blair + god = wtf? no offence, god. OH, and the me bless part from god’s email – OMG. best thing ever. i think this has got to be one of the most ridiculous story lines yet. more ridiculous than louis. plus, chuck would have NEVER thought that blair was hooking up with dan, he knows her better than that. this is just offensive to the characters at this point, but safran sure seems to like it. have you read his latest interviews? “this is where the story is taking us…blabla…blair likes god now…blabla…blair’s faith has been here since season one…blabla” SERIOUSLY? is he really trying to make it seem like this is natural and that the hilarious scene in the confessonal from S1 was foreshadowing to this particular storyline? please. sometimes i think safran is deliberately trying to fuck this up as much as he possibly can, just to see if we’ll still watch it.

    anyway, sorry that this turned into a rant, i tend to do that a lot.
    lots of love for you and your recaps, though. keep up the good work! <3

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      It’s all good. We all rant.

      The God thing was… whatever.

      Thanks for the comment, glad you liked it!

  • Shreya

    I’ve been reading your recaps for a while and after watching this weeks episode I pretty much stalked this site till I saw a recap for it.

    I initially thought this episode was fairly good (especially the filming/editing of the scenes and some of the acting), but after reading your recap I noticed how far fetched some of the writing is!

    The first bit of the recap pwned!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      You stalked the site!? I feel unhealthily good about that. But I do wonder why, if you thought it was good, wanted to read the recap :D

      Anyway, I’m glad you liked the recap — and that you liked Chuck and Louis being Rihanna fans.

  • boomsheclackclack

    This was pee-in-your-pants HILARIOUS!! Everything from Rihanna to “Sing me a song, Dan” to  ”Old Nom” comment – pure entertainment! I agree with others that this totally saves the episode for me.  I am new to this site so I have to ask, are you a CB fan or DB fan?

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Well boomsheclackclack, I’m really glad you liked it :D AND I’m glad you’re new to the site, I hope you stick around. But your newness really shows xD

      That’s one secret I’ll never tell.

  • Lau1710

    I love your recap! I can’t wait to watch another GG episode just because I can’t wait to read one of your recaaaaaps!:)
    YOU ARE AMAZING.
    “My new BFF let me in” that made my day.
    Hello from Italy:)

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Hello from America! :D

      I’m glad you liked it, hopefully the next recap will live up to your expectations :x

  • gabbster

    wait, the lion king reference was because of dan’s icky mess of hair right?

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Yes. 20 brownie points! I actually made this joke during the 100th episode party where I replaced his head with Mufasa’s (I think it was Mufasa’s, anyway).

  • Twanz

    michael the funny thing is she will fuck nate soon.. how did you know?