Gossip Girl 5.13 ‘G.G.’ photo recap: The Callback Kid

by Michael Collado | Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 1:04pm ET

Here’s my photo recap of Gossip Girl episode 5.13 “G.G.” — AKA the One Hundredth Episode!

It’s no secret that I wasn’t too happy with this episode, and I think my non-happiness translated to my recap. No me gusta this recap, but I hope you’ll find something in it to at least make you smile. (Also there are about 220 images below!) But just in case, make sure to keep an eye on the NWN Tumblr this week if I decide to release “lost caps”!

And if you’ve been reading since the beginning, there should be a callback or two for you to remember in here! What what!

I hope you enjoy the recap!

Shows: | Categories: Photo Recaps

Michael Collado

Michael Collado

Creator / Editor-in-Chief | Michael is the creator of NoWhiteNoise. What began as a blog written solely by him with 10 pageviews a week has slowly grown into a fun and adventurous — albeit small — television site. His current favorites on television now are Chuck (he's in denial that it's over), The Vampire Diaries, and Cougar Town. View Michael Collado's check-ins on GetGlue.
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  • Anonymous

    OMGGGGGGGGGG XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I can’t XDDDDD don’t know why but the ‘crazy bitch spottin’ thing and the ‘that’s me’ georgie cap is way beyond hilarious XDDD and the Nair tag… LOL and classic 3 lines Lily XDDDD

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Lily’s 3 lines! Such a classic callback in this recap!!

  • georginasparksaintGG

    loved the LONELY tag. such a throwback :)  

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you, thank you.

  • Hannilach

    This is your funniest recap yet! great job! :)

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you, I’m glad you liked it :)

  • http://twitter.com/VanillaPart2 VanillaLatte086 2.0

    I love you!!!  Great recap!!!

    “I love Chuck, but I choose to be miserable with you”! Best part!!!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      I love you!!! Great comment!!!

      …but seriously, that scene…

  • http://twitter.com/mockingbird2424 Meg

    “I love Chuck, but I choose to be miserable with you”! What’s up with Blair? Did she and Serena have a Freaky Friday switch this year? Serena makes sense (well, except for her choice in men- that co-star on Dan’s head should be repellent to every female) this episode and I feel like Blair is the one who bleached her hair.Love Chuck and blair but I don’t feel “rewarded” ..yeah, this episode was a mess but the recaps are damn funny. 

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Well I’m glad you liked the recap. I didn’t have too much trouble w/ the episode (except for its redundancy and most especially with the GG reveal…) but whatever. xD

  • http://twitter.com/maribells01 Maria

    “Oh shit is right”, hah. I feel like the Chuck/Cavalia scene didn’t get nearly enough credit because it was so close to the beginning of the episode… 

    Other faves: “fuck you times infinity” (amen, Louis), every joke about Blair being stupid and Nate being horny, Blair praying for death, and poor Serena’s sad, lonely vagina.

    It did do a little to make up for that clusterfuck of an episode, I’ll admit :)

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Well I’m glad it did a little. And seriously, Evil Louis pronounces things so well!

  • Camila

    hsahaha this was awesome! I’ve never read your recaps before (*shame on me*) I’m glad I did now!
    [The Nair tag...laughing here forever... I wasn't even on it and my reaction was the same lol]

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Welcome to NoWhiteNoise, then, Camila! Glad you liked the recap! :)

  • http://twitter.com/end_LE_sslove StelM

    OMGGGGGG your recap was one more time amazing…!!!LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you thank you. Hopefully next week the recap will be two more times amazing!

  • Two-Headed Sex Beast

    I don’t know why, but I laughed my face off when Nate said “Can you just stop fucking badgering me for like 2 seconds” last week. I’m so glad you brought it back. 

    “Blahblahblah, yadda YADDA!” sounds about right for every Chuck and Blair scene this season.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      That was no coincidence. I mean, it also worked out in the episode/scene, but I LOVED that cap from last week. Kinda sad no one else reacted to it. I laughed hysterically last week when I wrote it. xD

      • Two-Headed Sex Beast

        XD

        I almost forgot to tell you how much I loved your CLUE reference in that scene where Serena, Nate, and Dan confront Georgina! That was my first thought when I watched it. I was hoping beyond all hope that the episode was going to have three different endings.

        • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

          LMAO I just realized your name!!!

          And thank you! I was hoping there would be a bit of a whodunit, but nope!

  • Tiff

    The episode was a disappointment, let’s be honest, the hype the 100th got was far above what the episode delivered.  Thanks for making the most of it.  VAGINERWOODSEN… but all the awards for having a JACKIE CHAN cap “WTF is this shit”.  ILY and the way your brain thinks 
    ={D (ps, boo hoo I didn’t give permission to be on the mustache reel) 

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Hahaha it’s just a common meme image :D And thank you. You wouldn’t like how my brain works if you actually had it.

  • KM

    This is fantastic! I can’t handle the stupidity, your recaps are the only thing keeping me watching this train wreck.

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Well, then, I hope you really enjoy the recaps XD

  • http://twitter.com/GGirlsss GGirlsss

    1st things first: you know we GGirlsss love Serena with the fire of a thousand warm and shiny suns, so of course this recap (epic, honestly, better than the episode!) really made me want to cry fat tears of sorrow for my beloved S.

    “Oh shit is right.” – OH, CHUCK BASS! You also know how we feel about Chuck Bass (in our pants), so I love you for this cap. Although now I’ve mixed metaphors with the pants and feel a little gross… :-/

    LILY AND HER THREE LINES! I just want her to be in every scene always. :( Why they try to take away my Lily time? Love how your recaps always point her out for me, though.

    And, gurlfriend-who-is-a-boy, you know that I could listen to the same Chuck and Blair scene a trillion times and never think it gets old, but your blah blahs make me laugh. Why can’t Blair just say something new and let Chuck get it wet and give me a Bass-Waldorf baby? WHY, JOSH SAFRAN, WHY?!

    Return of Serena’s “Bitch. You. Is Stayin.” I LOVE YOU AND WOULD BE WILLING TO MARRY YOU IF GOD ACCEPTED IT AS A BARGAINING CHIP TO KEEP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ALIVE! <3 <3 <3

    And you and I both desperately wanted Charlie to be Gossip Girl, so I feel you. I still say she is the REAL Gossip Girl and Georgina is just doing her a favor like that. I wanted to ship Gossip Gate, damnit! (This is Gossip Girl-as-Lola and Nate, in case my ship names are stupid)

    So, this is my first GGirlsss comment on your blog to tell you you're amazing and perfect and I (sometimes) agree with you. The end!

    Love forever,
    Jane (well, not Jane, but you know)

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      So this is basically the best comment ever and nothing I reply to it would be good enough. I’m gonna have to write a love letter on the post of your next podcast!!!!

      And I definitely would accept that proposal xD You’re amazing and perfect!!!!

  • Ana Muller

    Same Chuck/Blair conversation, same Dan being a lapdog for Blair, same Nate being horny, same Serena being clueless… was this supposed to be a special episode? The only thing I enjoyed was Louis going all psycho, I almost liked him on that scene! And Eleonor paying Chuck a visit was kind of cool too. THE RECAP IS AMAZING AS ALWAYS (: now that you know the writers read them, don’t you wonder if they feel bad about the fact that your writing is so much better then theirs? 

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Thank you!!!!! I felt like I was the only one who noticed. It was all the SAME thing. I was just like… ugh…

      And hahaha I fear the writers will condemn me to some sort of blog hell. They have a power over me. I love them too much!

  • treatyoself

    Louis will always be the best part of these recaps

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      Well then, whenever he leaves I fear you will too :’(

      (But I still think Rhodes to Perdition is my best recap and he wasn’t even in that one! :D )

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chrysanthi-Loi/100001826118723 Chrysanthi Loi

    Shhhhh…Or i’ll shut ur mouth w/ ur own hair!!!
    That pretty much did it for me…I’m gasping  for air for laughing too much!
    And the face expressions you picked were just priceless…Thnx! And keep up the good work!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      LOVED that cap once I wrote it. Ahhhh. Sometimes you just know you have a good cap when you’re writing it, y’know? XD Anyway, thank you for the amazing comment :)

  • Pamela

    Jackie Chan, bwahahahaahahah!!!! Love it! Don’t ever stop. These are hilarious!

    • http://nowhitenoise.com Michael Collado

      I’ll try not to stop, Pamela. Thanks for the comment! :D

  • Alissa

    BEST recap evaaaahhhh :D
    Lol suddenly the episode makes more sense xD

  • define Like

    “I always wanted to see my daughter marry the man of her nightmares.” LMAO!!!!

  • Neiro

    LOL this definitely makes it up for how bad this episode was… Sometimes I just keep watching to understand this recaps xd
    And I love the comeback of “Bitch you is stayin”, I miss Ivy so much, this Charlie is way too boring even for Nate’s standars

  • Lila

    wow I’ve never seen your recaps but this was great!! I’ll definitely be back next week! :)

  • http://twitter.com/jennkellysays Jennifer Kelly

    Bitch. You. Is. Stayin. <–will always be my fave.

  • http://www.facebook.com/RinatShamir Rinat Shamir

    adSgojsadflgksjdfg richard gere

  • Shreya

    Things that made me literally LOL while reading this page:
    Louis shut up and drive cap
    “I’m going to try and seduce louis because that makes sense”
    The whole set of caps with chuck and blair having a ‘heartfelt and original talk’ (blah, “I’m stupid” and #accurate made me almost fall out of my seat!)
    “I’ve always wanted to see my daughter marry the man of her nightmares”
    “lets be super rude and play the video”
    “I love chuck but I choose to be miserable with you”
    The Jackie Chan cap

    Also, I’m so glad I’m not the only one that noticed the whole veil thing!

    I’m with you Michael, maybe I had unnaturally high expectations from this episode but I reckon it was just a stinker! Plot hole after plot hole after plot hole!!!
    They need to stop overtly focusing on one characters plot and stick in a few for the other charcters. I’ve always been a Blair fan but after this season I’ve grown really tired of her, Chuck and Chair.

    Well done and congrats for getting the GG writers attention… hopefully that’ll translate to some better plots

  • http://twitter.com/returnofthedeb returnofthedeb

    Cannot begin to describe the epic-ness! Loved it, especially the ‘I’m chuck bass’ I miss good ole evil chuck. Also how bored did Dan look throughout this it was like he didnt even phone his lines in! Favourite pointless scene that didnt get a recap was Rufus going on about his flyers? Like WGAF, does he still gig now? Isnt he Lily’s biatch? Lol great cap ass usual! xoxo

  • Ezgi

    SOOO FUNNY:’D

  • emmajolie

    omg. these MAKE MY DAY :D XXXX