In the latest episode of The Secret Circle, Cassie moves out of Diana’s house and back into her own… but not before scamming the Meade’s by telling both Diana
(who is sporting a little too much cleavage) and Charles (who got a haircut) that her grandma was back from the “clinic” and doing just fine. Liar McLiarPants. There’s some gayish flirty “gonna miss your snoring,” “I’ll call you in the middle of the night,” banter between the girls followed by Diana’s “why do all the men in my life like you more than me,” awkwardness.
I can’t help but think that Adam may be onto something with the whole “I’ll stay with you since your grandma is in fact not home” bit so they can spend some alone time together. It’s a horny teens dream. No parental units! I’m glad she’s out of the Meade’s home. Raise your hand if you think the situation is totally screwed up, Jerry Springer style? Well, I worked at Jerry Springer and think it would fit in perfectly. I can see the headline now: Diana is best friends with her ex’s new play thing, and secretly wants to chop her head off while she’s sleeping next to her. Well, I made that last part up—a girl can dream.
Cassie has been staying with Diana for far too long and if I were either party’s involved I would feel majorly uncomfortable. Cassie and Adam are clearly pursuing a relationship (sort of, kind of in secret) and Diana should be finding her own man, or woman to get under. It just all seems unrealistic in the real world of high school teens and their trials and tribulations.
If you hadn’t gathered from last weeks preview for this week John Blackwell is back. Cue daddy issues. Blackwell claims he’s returned to Chance Harbor to protect Cassie; she brings up how she’s fine without him, which is code for HUG ME. Blackwell doesn’t want anyone to know he’s back—which I guess is understandable, yet oddly suspicious. John wants to meet Cassie at the dock to discuss things, which is code for GIVE ME THE MEDALLION.
Cassie can’t keep a secret and tells Adam about her fathers visit and he urges her not to do it. God, the same thing each episode—Cassie wants to do something, Adam tells her not to, she does it anyway, and ends up in a sticky situation where the circle has to bail her out. Snore.
Melissa is at a party with Callum, and exhibits some powerful individual magic. Ruh roh, is Melissa in fact the other Blackwell child? Possibly. Diana and Faye go after her and bring along Lee, the creepy doll giving voodoo priest fake. There’s some roaming around this Voodoo party of Callum’s and not much else going on with that.
Adam calls Diana (no surprise there) to help save Cassie after Blackwell shows up at the boat house, and gets grilled by Ethan, who I’m pretty sure wanted to shit his pants when he saw that John was alive.
Cue Cassie in trouble: The witch hunters witchnap her and are planning to kill her, then here comes her blonde lover boy to the non-rescue. He tries to trade Blackwell for Cassie and gets shackled in the process. Kinky. The witch hunter spells Cassie with some blue tinted Visine drops and orders her to kill her father. Double kinky. It’s Cassie’s turn to be possessed and she borderline kills Blackwell then… CIRCLE TO THE RESCUE! There’s some chanting: Red rover, red rover, John Blackwell’s bent over… and poof everyone’s safe.
Blackwell tells Cassie he’s not leaving until he knows she’s safe. Lee grows a conscience (or so we think). And Eva, Lee’s comatose girlfriend awakens from her magical cocaine induced slumber!
It is just me or did Cassie and Faye drink special water to make them super slutty lately? Dark Magic Barbie is flirting with Jake and Adam without any shame knowing both boys are in way deeper than expected. And Faye is hopping from bed to bed— for a girl who has only slept with two people, she’s being quite the hoe bag.
The episode was satisfactory, but I can’t help but be left with a not so pleasant aftertaste in my mouth. Not to mention we are in for a month long hiatus, and I’m not sure my addictive personality can take four weeks of a TSC detoxification. See you all on the other side. Be strong.
Episode Allstar: Cassie Blake, for making me LOL during her wielding an umbrella against possible witch hunters bit. Apparently straight up magic isn’t suitable anymore… we need to take props from Mary Poppins. Kudos, Cassie… Kudos.