Once again, it’s late and I’m drunk (not really… the late part, it’s only like 11:50pm) and I’m reading the headlines of the past week. So, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on them. But only if you care enough, because the last two times I did this everyone cared.

Gimme, gimme more!

Reports released early yesterday that Britney Spears was being coveted for one of the judge seats on Fox’s less-of-a-hit-than-American Idol singing competition The X Factor. After Simon Cowell and company singlehandedly passed out pink slips to everyone and their mother at their, surely, sore disappointment… it’s no wonder they’re trying to snatch anyone they can grab!

Except they probably didn’t anticipate that Britney Spears would be a much harder target than they thought. At first, it was reported that the X Factor camp had offered Britney Spears $10 million (the same that got Christina Aguilera to sign off on a third season of The Voice over at NBC), but she has counter offered. According to The Wrap, Britney’s camp is coming back at $20 million — or nothing! (Well, obviously, it’s not like they’re going to offer half of Britney Spears or something.)

What’s more bizarre is all the talk about having “a talentless person judge a talent competition.” Yeah, because Paula Abdul is the world’s greatest singer. Look, there was a time where tie dyed shirts were cool and colorful pants reigned supreme while people maintained horrified of impending doom (this is the ’90s, by the way) when Britney Spears actually did sing live. And she wasn’t horrible. Sure, now, she’s relegated to CD playback as she walks a stage and squats every so often about two inches.

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But back when Britney was at her prime, she was a force to be reckoned with. And if nothing else, she is most certainly one of the most iconic singers (er, entertainers?) of our generation. The point being: she has the “X” factor — and her judging others who may or may not have “it” makes more sense than the forgettable Nicole Scherwhowhateveridon’tcare.

Now will she be as sober as Paula Abdul?

Netflix’s Terra-ble save

I can’t completely judge Terra Nova, since I checked out about five episodes into the series, but from the little I saw… I’ll say this: God, was it not awful? It was just a really, really bad show. I guess, technically, it wasn’t that horrible, but I felt like it was a show with an interesting premise and then just had stupid, lame plots. “Let’s travel 65 years in the past to show spousal jealousy.” Ugh, really? I mean, really? They truly contrived that story, too.

Aside from the fact that this was one of the most expensive network television shows to produce ever, Netflix shouldn’t save this show because it already has enough B-rated content in its portfolio. When the company was looking for original content, some interesting options popped up, including David Fincher and Kevin Spacey’s House of Cards and the reboot of Arrested Development… and I know they lost a ton of content ever since their Starz deal went caput, but content for content’s sake is not the answer.

Especially when it’s a highly expensive program with the dialogue crafting of some crappy independent movie you’d find any given evening on… well, Netflix. Don’t cha think?

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And that’s all I think about a couple of headlines I read this evening. Now to wait for the comments to never pour in!

Michael Collado
Mike's a television junkie located in Miami, where he spends all of his time watching TV with his best friends couch and cable access.