GCB 1.03 ‘Love is Patient’ review: Love is… lies, biblical role-play, & ice cream

This week’s episode of GCB did not fail to impress me. No matter what people say, this show is hilarious.

We start the episode off by seeing Cricket, Carlene, and Sharon’s pastor recruit the women and their husbands to be ‘Marriage All Stars’ at a church singles night. If you watch the show you’ll find that funny seeing as all Ripp and Carlene do is have sex, Sharon and Zach are barely in the same room together for more than 5 minutes and Cricket and Blake’s marriage is one big lie. These three should not be All Stars of anything.

Carlene and Ripp have a minor issue in the bedroom this week, to be blunt, Ripp can’t get it up therefore no boom boom for the Cockburn’s, bahah, their last name is Cockburn. By the end of the episode Ripp tells Carlene that he couldn’t get into the mood because he was pissed at Amanda’s (who is usually the center of the episodes with her mother Gigi) dead husband Bill. He took loads of money from Ripp and now Ripp and Carlene are convinced he’s alive and that Amanda knows about it. These morons are going on a wild goose chase… or are they?

Cricket has become one of my favorite characters and even though her marriage to Blake is a sham (Blake is super duper gay) she still rocks my world each week. Cricket is sleeping with her workout trainers, which is no surprise seeing as her husband is clearly not jumping her bones. Have you seen their bed? It’s about 50 feet wide. You could fit an elephant in between these two while they sleep.

I feel like Sharon has gotten the short end of the stick, she finally confronts Zach about kissing Amanda and let’s face it, when in a crisis this woman can really pack in the food. Every time she is dealing with a crisis she turns to munching on something, and this week — ICE CREAM! Which, I suppose is what most American’s do. I really hope she turns her life around and becomes the strong, independent women she can be… despite that d-bag of a husband. Reclaim your glory days, Sharon!

Heather, who is another favorite of mine, reconnected with one of her old high school crushes. The two together are completely dorky and disastrous, but it’s nice to see the girl get a love interest. She was branded the single, going to be alone forever gal during the ‘Marriage All Star’ nonsense and I’m already getting tired of the Queen Bee’s knocking her down each week.

All in all, this episode had me in stitches, yes I just said “in stitches.” It was funny, fools! I think for next week I’m going to re-watch all of the episodes and share some hilarious quotes from the show with y’all. Hey look, I’m Southern. Okay. Enough. Basically, I’m looking forward to next week.

Do you think Ripp and Carlene will stumble upon Bill, alive? Can Amanda find love after being married to a scheming, lying bastard? Let me know in the comments below.

Tags: | Categories: Recaps
About the author: McKenzie
McKenzie
Currently working at a Literary Publicity Firm as a Social Media Specialist. Recent college grad with a B.S. in Journalism, who loves covering the Entertainment world. I recently worked at World Wrestling Entertainment as the Intern Online Content Editor, NBC Universal for both The Steve Wilkos and The Jerry Springer Show, and at Red 7 Media where I created content both online and in print for the company's various publications. In my spare time, I enjoy watching and reviewing my favorite T.V. shows, as well as interviewing some of my favorite celebs in the industry. I'm sarcastic, opinionated, and thrive off of technology and social media.

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  • Guest

    As a Christian and Southerner,
    I think GCB is great! It is really funny and I just love it! I really hope it
    is not cancelled because a few bored housewives who call themselves Christians
    are too stupid to get the point of the show.

    Instead of
    being mad at ABC for “making Christians look bad” (which is not even true) these
    people should be mad at the real enemy- “Christians” who make Christians look
    bad.

     People opposed to or offended by GCB are just having
    a hard time looking in the mirror (stereotypes would not exist if they did not have
    some shred of truth to them).

    Instead of “Christians”
    getting upset about these stereotypes portrayed on television, they could
    better spend their time doing something about these stereotypes in real life if
    they are so truly concerned about the image of Christianity.

    It s much more damaging to our faith for these
    real-life stereotypes to walk around making true believers look bad than for a show
    to point it out.