So everyone here we are at the finale. What a ride it’s been. With upfronts this week, there’s been a lot of interviews and possible spoilers and I still was completely unprepared for how this all went down. Way to end on a strong note Sera Gamble! Even if she’s just a “girl” writer. (Sorry, bitch comment, but that’s my only commentary on that. If you don’t get it, trust me, it’s better that way.)
We open to a really intense montage of the entire season set to ‘Carry On My Wayward Son.’ I don’t recap those because I think we’ve all be paying attention, but you should watch it again! It’s really good.
Last we left, Crowley had been summoned and devils trapped by Dick at the SucroCorp offices. Dick’s got out the company manners today, offering drinks and apologizing for early offenses, but Crowley’s not buying it yet. Being the King of Hell, Crowley is hard to kill, but it’s not impossible and since Leviathan can take out Angels…well, Crowley doesn’t understand why Dick’s trying to play nice. Dick acknowledges that he’s sure Crowley’s left instructions for a vial of his blood to go to Sam and Dean should he go missing and that’s why he’s suddenly looking to partner up. Dick will give Crowley and his kind Canada; he’s keeping the U.S.A (we’re fatter). Though I’m not really sure why they only want North America either the Leviathans are a little bit lazy in their plan to take over the world or they have gorged on North American sensibilities for so long they too now believe we are the whole world.
Regardless, Crowley agrees to double cross Sam and Dean by giving them dummy blood. Dick’s not interested in kissing on it, so they call up a contract and wow, that’s extensive. I would have went for the kiss, short and sweet (or long and passionate – still more fun than a really long contract), but I’m not evil. Those two are crazy excited and go round for round on the wording for awhile. They’re trying to one up each other and I’m sure one or the other got in some loop hole, but I’m not really sure which one has the upper hand when they call it a deal, get a notary and sign it (to be copied in triplicate). Ah lawyers. In every reality they’re boring at best and trying to give the world over to hell at worst.
Dean and Sam are driving, bickering like they do. Dean made a joke, Sam took it as a plan and now Dean is pissy and Sam is insisting this is the only way. Oh boys. At least you’re consistent. And pretty. The radio tells us all that Dick is at SucraCorp headquarters. Man, the PR people really want the entire world to know where to find this guy. No CEO alerts the media to his location.
Sadly, they do too good of a job and Bobby, still possessing the maid from last week, also finds out Dick’s at SucraCorp. He’s still pissed as hell. Bobby, please stop possessing the maid. This is not going to end well if you don’t and it’s too early for it to end for us, okay?
Dean’s big plan, it turns out, was for finding the righteous bone. Not wanting to call Cas again – Dean let’s us know that the last time he summoned Cas, Castiel showed up naked and wearing beads (how many fanfics are there on this exchange already? It’s been what? 24 hours or less since the airing? A few thousand?) -, they break into a crypt full of nuns. Nice boys. I’ll have you know the Catholic Church is currently calling all American nuns righteousness into question, so I’m not sure they’d agree with your quest to find the righteous bone but hey, it works for me. After passing on a youthful nun and possibly power hungry middle aged nun, Dean decides to go for the really old nun who led a pretty ordinary life of worship and breaks into her crypt to bone her (sorry). Is there really like a Big Book of Nun Deeds for the Deceased? I thought St. Peter had that at the Pearly Gates? Wouldn’t it be redundant to have one on earth?
With the bone in their possession, the only thing left to get is Crowley’s blood. So the boys call on Crowley and he doesn’t show up (he’s finishing signing on the dotted line with Dick). There’s a moment of confusion before Dean just gets flat out pissed that they’ve been stood up. Ha! I like how it’s literally been like 1 second and he’s angry. I take it Dean’s never waited around for the phone to ring. Sam points out that he has to show, unless something went wrong. A knock on the door and could it be – nope! It’s better than Crowley! Meg’s back. Yay! I’m still on my Meg kick from last week when we bonded over crappy celebrity weeklies. Meg’s over Castiel and giving him back to Dean. Seriously, the ten people who aren’t working on the bead fanfic just started typing “Go ask him, he was your boyfriend first” and this went a whole other way for you huh? Lots of Dean and Cas hints all through out this episode and by hints I mean anvils.
Cas is pondering testing make-up on monkeys when Dean tries to have a heart to heart. Dean doesn’t really care about the plight of monkeys and convinces Cas to come inside. He does, but lays down the law (he’s not here to fight) and then sniffs our righteous bone, agreeing it was a good choice. Gross, Cas. Cas also lets us know that Dick has Kevin and all the Garison are dead. Any Angels that have survived are hiding.
Meg’s not really concerned with the Angels; she’s more concerned with the items Sam and Dean have left around to call Crowley. She’s none to happy about them putting her in danger, because Crowley can show up anytime and you guessed it, he takes this moment to.
Crowley’s not too happy to see Meg or Cas. There’s a bit of squabble among them, where Crowley realizes Cas isn’t all there and a fight with him in this state is beneath him and Cas makes it clear he’s not letting Crowley have Meg. All good things. As if that’s not enough good will for the King of Hell to be showing, he admits the double cross contract, but explains it’s really his blood he’s handing over because he’s not interested in only having Canada. The boys aren’t sure if they should believe him and I have no idea either, but really what choice do we have. Crowley also let’s us know that Cas has a role in taking down the Leviathan, even though Cas is still in denial. Oh Cas. What if we promise to save the monkeys after?
While all this is going down, Bobby’s still wandering the streets in the maid meatsuit. Bobby, let her go! When he ends up grabbing some iron and being forced from her body, the maid is allowed a second to plead the same and run, but sadly the SucraCorp PR department has done a really good job and Dick’s also on the cover of the newspaper at her feet. Bobby takes one look at Dick’s picture, goes vengeful and repossesses the poor maid. Seriously, Bobby, you are wearing a pink dress and beige cardigan! Have some respect for your flannel wearing days or something.
Back at SucroCorp, Dick tells his assistant he’s prepared to be screwed on the contract and to bring him something from the freezer. I immediately worry for Kevin and we find him in a locked suite that’s not at all freezer like so it’s not him. Whew. Instead, they put a pretty blonde girl in with Kevin, who is able to give her name, Polly, but is stoned on SucroCorp juice and nothing else is forth coming. Kevin wonders for a minute if she’s also a prophet (come on Kevin, you’re better than thinking that!), but Kevin’s been at this game for awhile now and realizes he’s on his own.
The guys are still working on the bone magic. Turns out, they only get one shot at this. They pour the blood, cover the bone and there’s no magic. Nothing happens and we’re not at all sure that this bone has been blessed or made special. Good for Kevin, no lightening to hit him this time, but bad for those of us hoping to know if Crowley double crossed the boys or Dick. Cas shows up bearing sandwiches, which he made from scratch right down to consoling some poor pig before he slaughtered it. Ugh Cas. First the bone smelling, now the pig slaughtering? So much with the gross this episode. Sam asks Cas about Crowley thinking that he should be going with them, but Cas insists feeding them is all the solidarity that he can muster.
We find out Dick still has a piece of the original Dick Roman, which means that there can be several Leviathans using the same Dick Roman skin. Fabulous. Isn’t it hard enough to kill him?
Back over in the locked suite, a guard come back and insists Polly change clothes and properly accessorize. The big lug guard doesn’t pay enough attention though and misses Kevin swiping a flower jeweled bobby pin, which he uses to pick the lock and escape the room. Ah, who new that Advance Placement now covered breaking and entering (or in this case, escaping)? Dean would have gotten much better grades had he been born later.
The SucroCorp board is gathering, there’s a little bit of writer political commentary here with the Ohio, Wisconsin and Florida shout outs that are unflattering to all involved, but the real issue is Polly, who is asked to disrobe yet again! For some reason, despite eating a lot, Polly’s not gaining any weight. At first I think this is a compliment, but it’s not and Dick gives poor Polly an injection that seems to kill her painfully. Dick’s got a plan to kill the humans who won’t make good monster nutrition by putting something in coffee creamers. This I don’t get at all. Skinny people generally aren’t cramming their coffee with half and half. They drink it black. Fewer calories. But whatever, this is the plan, the Board’s happy. Kevin heard a bit of this, but was busted by Dick’s assistant. Poor Kevin.
The boys show up to bring the hammer down on Dick and unfortunately realize that there are many Dick types running around via some scanning of the security monitor feed. While staking out Dick, Sam recognizes the maid from the hotel and figures out that Bobby’s driving the poor woman to her death. He tells Dean to stay the course regarding Dick while he deals with Bobby and Dean actually listens. Well, Dean’s about to put up a fight but Sam tells him to shut up and runs off and Dean doesn’t follow so he kind of listens? Oh Sam. Don’t kill Bobby. This is not like where you killed Dean’s weird hatched in 24 hours daughter for his own good. No good comes from killing Bobby.
Sam meets up with Bobby and tries to rationalize, but Bobby’s beyond that. So beyond that that he nearly chokes the life out of Sam. Oh Bobby. Catching a glimpse of himself, Bobby manages to stop and poof out of the maid, leaving Sam to carry her away before the cameras get her and she becomes Leviathan bate. If you’re a small woman cast on this show, do you just assume that Jared Padalecki is eventually going to be picking you up and running away with you? How devastated are you if that’s not the case because I’d be pretty bummed.
The guys go back to the lodge, Cas is still handing out sandwiches and Meg’s pissed that the boys backed out for some maid no one knows or cares about. They defend they’re actions by pointing out that Dick made more Dicks and they don’t know which one they need to kill. Cas acts even stranger than usual and Dean calls him out on it, telling him to clean up his freaking mess. Cas tries to ignore Dean’s anger and wants to play Twister. Seriously, more fanfic prompts? Anyway, lucky for the boys, Meg gets it and explains that Cas is the only one who has seen the Leviathans in their true form and will know which Dick is the real Dick. So they better fix him and get him on board.
The guys are taking a break from Cas (I assume he’s still playing Twister) and go to look at the security feed to see if they can spot any differences. Nope, all the Dicks have the same mannerisms. The boys are feeling discouraged when Bobby poofs back into the world.
Yay Bobby! He calls them idjits and I’m happy to see he’s here to give them the right answer to fixing this problem. Yay!
See that’s what I thought would happen. Instead, Bobby chides them for not burning the flask right off. No Bobby! He ignores me and explains he’s jonesing to possess someone else and take off after Dick. Sam tries to tell him that it’s not his fault that he tried to kill him, but Bobby’s not having it. All ghosts turn vengeful; he can’t outsmart it like he thought. Yes, you can Bobby! Try harder.
Bobby’s not listening to me at all. He tells the boys to go get Dick, not because they want revenge, but because that’s the job. Bobby tells them that he’s done and gives them one last piece of advice; when it’s your time, go. Worst advice ever. It’s time to burn the flask. Worst decision ever.
Bobby says they’ll run into each other on the other side (but not too soon and finally that’s something I agree with). Sam and Dean burn the flask and Bobby watches before going poof. And no one hugs! They don’t hug Bobby before he goes (okay, he’s a ghost and they can’t), they don’t hug each other after he’s gone and my roommate looked at me crazy when I said I needed a hug so there were no hugs and Bobby’s really gone. *sob* I’m holding out hope that a little bit of that flask did not melt and they can call him back. Bobby!
Honestly, for me, this was hands down the best moment of the season. We knew it was coming, this second time we’d lose Bobby. I was hoping we’d deal with it next season, but I knew it was eventually coming. Jared, Jensen and Jim played the hell out of this scene. Not only did they deliver the beautiful words on the paper, the despair and inevitability written on their faces was priceless. And to make it even better, we get a flash to Cas on the stairwell, witnessing it all, everything he left loose when he put the Leviathans in play. Wow.
After all that, Cas is back to playing games and I honestly want to throw him against the wall. But Dean has more patience than I do and just asks him to run an errand. That’s right, after all this time, Baby’s getting her freedom. While freeing the much longed for Impala, Dean and Cas have another heart to heart so Misha and Jensen can shine a bit. Cas doesn’t want to fight because he feels that he’s cursed and will be bad luck. That sentiment is as hysterical to Dean as it is to the rest of us, I mean, if anyone has bad luck, it’s the Winchesters. Like Cas, they keep dying and coming back, only to be tortured a little more each season for our viewing pleasure. Poor guys. Dean does forgive Cas a little for the mess with Sam and this leads Cas to decide that he will fight along side them yet again, even if it means death and resurrection to something worse. Cas wants to know the plan and Dean says that since Dick knows they’re coming, they’re gonna announce themselves big.
Which leads us to the Impala and her freedom; she’s taking sharp turns and zooming down the road and it’s a beautiful sight to behold. Even if for a second I wonder if Dean is driving drunk because there’s a bit of swerving. Fake out though, Dean’s not driving (which was sad – he’s letting Meg drive Baby? Jesus, things really have never been this bad before). After crashing into the SucroCorp sign, Meg comes out and starts boraxing a few Leviathan asses.
Dean and Cas sneak inside, as does Sam separately, while Meg’s causing a scene. After she takes down the bad guys, two of Crowley’s minions show up and man are we really losing Meg now too? She’s going back to hell to be tossed on the spit Crowley threatened her with earlier. Boo. What if she misses the Brangelina wedding or William and Kate get pregnant? Who will make sure Meg gets Us Weekly in hell?
Sam finds and frees Kevin. He tries to take him to safety, but Kevin insists they blow up the lab, explaining Dick’s plan for poisoning the creamer and killing all the skinny people (which they wont drink because creamer has calories!). Sam of course agrees.
Dick’s in the lab, absolutely in love with the creamer. I don’t get it myself because it’s not very inventive packaging or anything and I may have mentioned once or twice that the skinny people wont drink the creamer, but whatever. Dean and Cas show up and have a bit of a stand off, until Dean talks a little smack about Crowley always finding a way to bone you (oh the foreshadowing that I didn’t see coming) and shoves the bone into Dick (yeah I know how that sounds). Dick laughs it off, takes it out and breaks the thing and for a second I wonder if Crowley really has double crossed the boys, but nope. Instead, Sam and Kevin show up to watch as Dean shoves a different bone into Dick’s throat (I KNOW!) and taunts about catching Dick off guard. Then it all promptly goes to hell. Or in this case purgatory.
Yup, Dick explodes back to where Leviathan go, Sam covers Kevin and when he looks up, Dean and Cas are gone. Are you kidding me show? After all the loss this season, you end the season this way?
Crowley shows up and at first I wonder if he’s going to help. He’s all, don’t worry Kevin, I’ve got my demon army outside, the Leviathan are on the run without a leader and this sounds promising right? Not to Sam who realizes that he’s still going to have to track and kill Leviathan (though easier to kill now without a leader) but more importantly, where the hell is Dean? Crowley is only too gleeful to share that our righteous bone weapon had a bit of a kickback, sending Dean and Cas God knows where and oh by the way, he’s taking Kevin. Poor Kevin! Before Crowley peaces out, he has the nerve to taunt Sam about really being on his own now! I hate you Crowley. I hated you for taking Meg but I really hate you for this. Sam seems on the verge of breakdown and Sam, go back to where you burned the flask and try to call Bobby back! I warned you about burning that so soon.
If you worried that we’d leave without seeing Dean, you don’t have to. We flash to a passed out Dean and please tell me he’s not dead. Nope, Cas manages to get him to open his eyes and gives Dean the 411 on where they are. Purgatory, where all the evil souls are just waiting to tear each other apart (by the way, when did Purgatory get to be the new Hell? I thought it was the place you waited to be judged?). For the first time since he reappeared, Cas seems sane and together, but that must not be the case because he poofs and leaves Dean on his own. I’m sure he’s searching for a back door out or something, but Cas, lets not leave Dean on his own okay? Come back!
And that’s it for the season. Both Sam and Dean are on their own, in different dimensions, and man we have to wait until freaking October to see what they do about it. Do you think Cas is going to come back and help Dean get out of purgatory? Will Sam try to resurrect Bobby? Or are they both really alone this time? And if they are, how long will it take them to figure out how to get back together?
Let me know your thoughts and feelings in the comments – esp. how you plan to spend the next five months without Supernatural!