Wow, it was an emotional and action-packed two hours of reality television this week! This episode of The Bachelorette included some very successful and romantic dates with a generous helping of drama and a can of southern-style mama bear whoop-ass. Where to even begin?
Ok, let’s talk about what went well. Most important on that list would be each of the one-on-one dates. This week, our motley crew traveled to England for a week of classic romance.
The first one-on-one date card was given to Sean. Sean and Emily still seem really well suited to each other. They share the same traditional values and they even look like the perfect pretty blond couple. They took a double-decker bus tour of London and had dinner in the Tower of London. Sean was smiling a lot around her and I really started to sense that he likes Emily, not just theoretically because of what they have in common. Emily opened up about how much she wants to start a family soon, and he seemed open to it. Emily described him as perfect husband material. They shared a couple of very sweet kisses. I wasn’t overwhelmed by the chemistry or anything, but they are definitely compatible.
The second one-on-one went to Jef. Jef just seems like a genuinely fun, down to earth guy. He’s also a little quirky, which I dig. He and Emily have a sweet, flirtatious connection. The date started out at high tea learning proper etiquette from a pretty intense British woman. It was funny watching Emily and Jef’s boredom until they finally decided to ditch the high tea for fish and chips and some beers after joking about preferring their PB&J with the crusts. In the more laid back environment, they got into some serious conversations, and Jef assured Emily that he supports her and has her back. She went into the date really unsure about the whole experience (I’ll get to that later), but seemed so much lighter after spending the day with Jef. Later they ate dessert on the London Eye, and over-looking London Jef opened up about what he wants in life – not just a wife, but a best friend. So adorable! Emily felt easy and comfortable with him. Maybe these two have a deeper connection than I initially anticipated. As much as Sean looks better for Emily on paper, I saw more sparks fly in date 2. Oh, and after chickening out a couple of times, he did close the deal with a steamy kiss on a bridge.
The Less Good
he group date was quite a mixed bag. For one, Emily had a cold and barely had a voice the entire week. Then the date involved the boys auditioning for and performing their own little rendition of Romeo and Juliet. Don’t get me wrong, I was incredibly jealous that they were in Stratford-upon-Avon reciting Shakespeare. Best date ever! Unfortunately, none of them seemed to appreciate the significance nearly as much as they were terrified of acting. The silver lining here was that most of them had a lot of fun with it anyway. It was really funny seeing them goof off with each other and joke about not understanding a single word they were saying.
My boy Arie had a rough week. He was seriously stressed about the acting. To make things even worse (or better), he was cast as the nurse, complete with dress and wig. Although he was extremely uncomfortable, he hammed up the performance, blushing the entire time (which I thought was pretty cute). Emily ate it up and said she was more attracted to him than ever. When they had a moment alone together later, they definitely seemed as close as they have been all along. Ryan, of course, loved that Arie had to wear a dress while he was cast as Romeo in the kissing (aka death) scene. After kissing Emily at the end of the scene, he went back for one more unscripted and much longer kiss. Emily really didn’t seem to mind.
Then there was Kalon. From the beginning of the episode, Kalon was pissed that he was on another group date and acting out. You know when you explain to a toddler that they have to eat their broccoli before they can have dessert? It was kind of like that. He made sarcastic comments about how thrilled he was to spend time with a “sick, exhausted single mom.” He clearly isn’t interested in getting married and helping to raise someone else’s child, and finally some of the other guys started to call him out on it. First Jef did at the house, and then the rest of the guys at a pub on the group date. When Doug caught wind of Kalon referring to Ricki as “baggage,” he was especially offended as a single dad and decided it was time to talk to Emily.
Emily’s reaction was easily the most awesome thing to happen this season. She lost her shit and the mama bear claws came out. Some amazing Emily quotes:
“I want to go out there and rip his limbs off and beat him with them.”
“I want to go West Virginia hood rat backwoods on his ass.”
“Is there anything you can say to say ‘No, I didn’t say that’? Then get the f*** out.”
Possibly my favorite moment, though, was when Kalon tried to start on his “I always imagined my first child would be my own…” BS again and Emily cut him off: “I love to hear you talk, but not until I’m done. I got that line from you.” You go, girl! That jackass has been talking down to her and cutting her off from day one. It was really satisfying to see her kick his ass out of there.
Unfortunately, it left Emily a little shaken and more than a little pissed off. As a result, she didn’t give anyone the group date rose. She felt betrayed that no one had come to her sooner to let her know how disingenuous Kalon was. She’s kind of changing the rules on them. Anyone who watched the fiasco that was Ben and Emily on The Bachelor knows that bringing up other relationships can seriously drag you down on this show. I don’t know how much you can hold it against them that they kept quiet until it reached the point it did. To be fair, they did eventually come to her.
The Fall Out
So, after this Kalon incident, Emily took it upon herself to grill each of the guys about defending their woman’s honor. The guys that seemed to most reassure her were Sean, Jef, and weirdly…Ryan. Ok, Ryan didn’t so much reassure as distract her by staging a private performance of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet and giving her jewelry. Yeah, we get that Ryan can do the sweet romantic gesture thing. I still don’t think much of him overall.
It was Sean who really stood out as the hero – which is funny, because he was actually absent for the entirety of the drama. For whatever reason, though, Emily told him that she wished he had been there to stick up for her when it all went down. She feels safe with Sean. I would imagine that he’s been present for some of Kalon’s antics as much as any other guy and could have spoken up, but the perception at least is that he is the protective type. Their talk seemed to bring them closer together.
The guys who were less comfortable with the interrogation included Travis and Arie. Arie tried to explain his philosophy of focusing on their relationship and avoiding house drama, usually the best choice on this show. He seemed really shaken and Emily told him that of all people she expected him to speak up since she feels so close to him. Arie felt bad and promised to have her back in the future. In the meantime, Sean and Jef gained some serious ground on my early favorite.
After all was said and done, Alejandro ended up going home. Yeah, not exactly surprising. Oh, and Emily admitted to liking Ryan more and more even though she sees right through him. While I must admit the two of them have a certain southern charm in their interactions, I still think Ryan is a shallow and arrogant player who should go back to picking up women at the bar. What do you guys think? Who is your current favorite? How awesome was it to see Kalon get his crap handed to him? Share your thoughts in the comments!Tags: The Bachelorette | Categories: Recaps
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