Secret Life 5×05 ‘Past History’ review: Ann is gay, but you’ve got elephants

The Secret Life of the American Teenager S05E05 "Past History"

Rae Bradshaw
By | Tue Jul 17, 2012, 2:53pm ET

Source: ABC Family

Is it just me, or is everyone on this show taking crazy pills? I can honestly count the number of teenagers who aren’t hypocrites on one hand. First we see pregnant Miranda Cosgrove (the Nickelodeon star, no relation to Mad Men’s Ken C.) tell Grace to bug off, then wait on Amy and whine to her that she’s her only friend. She then ditches Amy for Toby, who’s counting the days until her baby drops so he can get her into bed. Toby is obviously new at Grant, which is clear when he asks to have a private conversation with Madison, a well-known blabber mouth.

Amy sticks her skeleton fingers into Preggers’ (sorry, I still can’t remember her name) personal life, telling her how important it is that her baby’s fate is her choice. However, though she gets excited on the phone with Margaret over elephants, she previously claimed she didn’t want to have a wedding because she doesn’t think her mom deserves the choice to bring a same-sex date to a family function. Every week she gets one step closer to asking Grace to pray her gay away.

Grace is just as bad, showing up at school sporting an outfit that resembles the uniforms that the private school students still inexplicably wear, then she all but goes to second base with Jack in exchange for painting her bathroom.

Source: ABC Family

Ricky was an unexpected two-face this week. At the beginning of the episode, he told Amy he wanted to give the money back to Mimsy, but then he insists that they put her gift in the bank account after discovering that Amy didn’t actually lose her purse.

I find it interesting not only that George paid for Amy and Ricky to elope, but that Madison and Lauren think they can get the money to throw them a wedding. I also wonder if Madison dyed her hair blonde because she saw that Jack was falling for Grace again. Speaking of a new look, Adrian has been dressing much less like a skank now that she’s in college and actually seems to sincerely care about Ricky’s relationship with Amy. She did turn over this new leave almost overnight though, so I think she’ll prove me wrong eventually.

What did you think of last night’s episode?


You might also like:
Tags:
Categories: Recaps

About Rae Bradshaw
Rae Bradshaw
My husband got sick of seeing all my tweets about TV end up on Facebook, so I decided to start a blog. Then I decided I didn't have enough on my plate and I went looking for sites to publish my reviews. No White Noise seemed like the perfect home for me, especially because I literally hate silence. That means the TV is almost always on at my house, whether I’m sitting around watching it or actually doing something productive. This season I'll be covering Glee here at NWN. My favorite shows of all time(or my lifetime) are Arrested Development, Lost, and Friday Night Lights, to name a few. I also dabble in writing screenplays and the occasional teleplay. Check out my other reviews at Watch It, Rae!
  • katherine_fan

    Can i say how much I admire you for not only watching the entire episode but having the courage to review it,too?I have to say I fast forwarded most of the ep,b/c this show is getting on my nerves!I don’t like any of the characters right now (except for Ben and Ashley) and the storylines are just horrible!I think the last storyline I cared about was when Adrian lost the baby.I can’t stand Amy for being so judgemental towards Anne’s personal life when Anne has been so supportive to Amy since day 1.
    My favorite quote was from the pregnant girl :”Go to hell” (to Grace).YYEEEESSS!Finally!Someone told Grace that!

    • http://watchitrae.com/ Rae Bradshaw

      Thanks! I think hate-watching this show makes it that much more fun to review because I can mercilessly rip it to shreds. Amy’s stance on Anne’s big life change has me annoyed too, but I have mixed feelings about Grace. I keep waiting for the day that there’ll be a Christian character on television who is both uncompromising in their own standards without coming off like a stick in the mud and also strongly, but respectfully stands up for what they believe in when it comes to tough issues like gay marriage and such without being perceived as a villain or idiot. As entertaining, yet frustrating it is to watch Grace, I’m not holding my breath for her to grow up.