When this week’s episode starts, Snooki is still upset about her Jersey Shore roommates’ jokes about her engagement news. Vinnie says he is a little upset about the news BECAUSE HE LOVES HER! VINNOOKI FOREVER! His little jealous bashing of Jionni and his lack of money was just adorable. He is clearly still smitten with Snooks.
After all the teasing, Snooki is not excited to show them her pregnancy cake. And when she reveals it, the roommates are actually stunned into silence. I’m pretty sure this is a first, especially for Pauly. Before any of them can form some sort of response, Snooki pulls her sonogram pictures out of her bra and shows Vinnie, who immediately begins counting on his fingers to make sure the little rascal isn’t his (it isn’t, sadly. But don’t worry, I’m sure just like Chuck Bass, Vinnie would be more than willing to love Snooki’s child as much as he loves her).
Snooki is still a bit upset by all the jokes and Jenni’s lack of support, but in the end all the roommates let Nicole know that they will be there to support her and her child and all is once again well in JShore land.
After everyone is gone, Snooki and JWOWW watch some childbirth videos because Nicole is obsessed. Both girls are shocked by how large the vagina becomes and it actually seems like Jenni is more intimidated than Nicole is. Maybe Snooki is already resigned to her fate and no longer worries about ripping her vagina all the way to her butt-hole?
The next day, JWOWW is cleaning the apartment and preparing for the girls’ housewarming party while Snooki sits at the counter and eats and provides no help at all. I know she is pregnant but girl could really pitch in. Also, we learn that apparently Handyman Anthony is stalking the girls and blowing up their phone constantly. They refuse to answer his calls and when he shows up at the apartment, both girls are afraid. The girls never paid him for his crappy drape job and his visit to get his money is all sorts of awkward, what with him throwing around cheap green lollipops and meeting Handyman Brian, his replacement.
After the creeper leaves, Jionni shows up with a grill. He refuses help from Handyman Brian and Roger, and prefers the aid of Snooki. Ha, smart choice kid. No one, especially Roger, is surprised when Jionni comes back into the apartment asking Roger for his help. Of course, Roger doesn’t just go quietly. He busts Jionni’s balls the whole time, until Jionni says he is going to kick him in the balls. And when Roger says Jionni would need a step-stool to reach his balls, Jionni claims he could kick Roger in the head. We will never know if he was telling the truth, however, because Jionni caught his foot on the edge of the roof in his first attempt, which stopped him from even taking a good shot.
The guests begin arriving to the party, including both girls’ parents and their gay BFFs, who both happen to be named Joey. We don’t get to see much of Jenni’s BFF, who Nicole describes as “a complete and total bitch” (meant in the best way possible), but Snooki’s gay biffer is particularly hilarious since, as JWOWW says he “looks like a really big tough guy, until he opens his mouth and rainbows come out.” I love him. Can the Joey also become a part of this show? Or just get his own show, possibly with the bitchy Joey? Joey & Joey Take Hoboken. I would totally watch that.
In the middle of the party, Snooki is depressed and cuddling with her dad. She is upset because she is the only sober one amongst her friends and everyone else is drinking and having a good time. She is only a few months along in her at this point, so how is she going to last the whole pregnancy if she is already feeling left out? And how is she going to last while she is in Seaside? I can guarantee she was the only person at Karma this summer NOT drinking. Poor girl. This is why you need to practice safe sex, kids!
But, not to worry, Snooki’s Joey is drinking for his BFF and he volunteers to get a spray tan from JWOWW. He pulls his tightie-whities into a thong so he can get an all over tan, and then he seeks out Jionni to compare skin tone. Joey becomes increasingly more trashed as the night goes on and begins hitting on Roger before he tips over the couch, which he claims was no fault of his own, since he is in great shape. Seriously, someone give this boy a show.
As the party dies down, Roger is also getting a bit intoxicated and begins talking about his penis and his sexual history right in front of Jenni’s father, who quickly escapes to go outside and chat with Snooki’s dad about how much the girls have grown up. Ha! Are those guys even watching the same show as us?
After the party, Jionni rejects Snooki’s offer of sex, choosing instead to grill with Roger, and quickly the talk of kicking the head begins again. This time the question is whether Roger can kick tiny little Jionni in the head (spoiler alert: he can’t). And I don’t know about you, but when the guys crawled into bed with their girls, I felt bad for Roger when Jenni kept shutting him out while Jionni was across the hall getting it in.
Next week it seems like the JWOWW/Roger relationship problems continue, while Snooki lives my dream and gets to crawl around with a bunch of tiny fluffy puppies. Personally, an episode featuring Roger and puppies sounds like a good time in my book, don’t you agree?