Hey, there everyone! No photo recap this week as I simply don’t have the time AND my laptop is totally on the fritz. Instead, we’ll do a good old textual breakdown of the episode and I promise the pictorial mocking will resume next week.
So here’s the rundown of the episode with my thoughts included. Feel free to leave yours below and continue the discussion!
1) Sookie finds out that he magic is finite. If she keeps using it, she will run out and be only a normal human, much to her excitement.
My thoughts: LAME. Take it from the rest of us, Sookie: Being a normal human is totally overrated. Your microwave fingers are the only actual weapon you have, not counting your magical snatch that brings you hordes of males ready to jump at the chance to be your protector. I do understand the appeal of not having to hear other people’s thoughts anymore, but that has also saved your life on way more than one occasion.
2) We finally get to see the faces of the Shifter shooters. Turns out Hoyt even went to middle school with one of them. He quickly feels loved and accepted among the hate group, who complain that the “lamestream media” makes normal humans feel bad for being nonvampires. They coerce Hoyt into admitting his hate for Jessica, even claiming that she must have “date raped” him with her glamour powers.
My thoughts: Andddd Hoyt’s descent into tool-hood continues. God, how I wish Jessica and Jason had never hooked up, though it could be argued that the relationship wasn’t working out anyways even before that incident.
3) As hinted last week, Salome is revealed to have been the one to dig up Russell. The explanation for how she knew where he had been buried? She simply followed Eric and Bill the night they buried Russell because she knew Russell was the only vampire strong enough to defeat Captain Moob. Salome extends a hand of friendship to the dynamic duo, who resolutely turn her down. Eric’s refusal seems to stem more from a need to spite Norah whereas Bill’s comes from loyalty to mainstreaming.
My thoughts: Well, there really was only one other female Authoritah member of significance that we had seen. If it wasn’t Norah, it was obviously gonna be Salome. I also found the explanation for how she knew where Russell was buried to be kind of anti-climatic after all the times we heard the question “How would someone have known where Russell was buried?” Also, I applaud the dynamic duo, Bill especially, for sticking to their principles.
4) Alcide is training with what’s-her-face for the fight and by training I mean hooking up. She proposes that he also take V to even the playing field with JD but he shoots down the idea. Martha shows up and tells him that JD isn’t on V and that it’s his turn to be packmaster.
My thoughts: *yawn* I’ve never really cared about Alcide or the werewolves so this storyline just isn’t interesting to me. There’s probably some Alcide fans out there so let me elaborate. I just feel like Alcide never really got a personality besides werewolf, which doesn’t count to me. It’s weird, but I feel like we see the human aspects of the vampires a lot more often than with the werewolves, though the werewolves are arguably more human.
5) Arlene watches her wedding video with Holly, who convinces her that Terry isn’t necessarily crazy.
My thoughts: AWWW. Seriously, vintage Hoyt and Jessica? Jesus and Lafayette? Jason being distracted by a hot girl while talking about his then-missing sister? A+. Also, I LOVE this scene just for the glimpse inside the Holly/Arlene friendship. With the Tara/Sookie friendship currently dead, I think the show could use a new BFFcouple. Also, all the props to Holly for pointing out that they have seen way crazier things than smoke monster spirits in their time. I was like, AMEN, GURL.
6) Sookie comes to visit Sam in the hospital and discusses the merits of being a normal human being with him. He says that the world would be a much safer place for the people he loves.
My thoughts: I like seeing True Blood get philosophical about the supernatural abilities in the show. I think writing this scene with Sam and the context of his storyline was an unexpectedly perfect choice.
7) Tara finally shows up halfway through the episode…on a stripper pole in Fangtasia. Her mother shows up and tells her she’s disowned for being a vampire. Tara hugs Pam.
My thoughts: Whooo I don’t even know where to start I have so many things to say.
a) I can’t believe Tara has given up her dignity so quickly. Yeah, I get that she’s a vampire now and she’s depressed and she’s under Pam’s thumb but still. I just can’t see the Tara we know and love being okay with being a stripper at Fangtasia.
b) I’m tired of seeing Tara and Pam within the context of Fangtasia. It’s been six episodes. Can they go somewhere else?
c) I foolishly thought for a moment that Tara’s mom was there to offer some kind of tough love support. I’m kind of tired of the whole everyone-in-Tara’s-life-is-abandoning-her-for-being-a-vampire storyline. I’d like to see something new.
d) I feel like the writers can’t decide between giving Pam and Tara some kind of lesbian vampire storyline (SERIOUSLY, I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS NOTICING THOSE LOOKS PAM’S GIVING HER) and an actual progeny-maker storyline.
e) I felt like this hug was too soon. This was the first nice moment Tara and Pam had shared and a hug was almost moving too fast. I would have first liked to see an emotional connection over a mutual situation. But whatever. I’m glad to see the relationship finally going somewhere.
8) Everyone at Base Authoritah, including Bill and Eric, take Lilith’s blood, which apparently appears to be like Vampire marijuana. They get really high and have the munchies.
My thoughts: LOL
9) Lafayette drives to Mexico, finds Don Bartelo, gets assaulted by him and has his lips SEWN SHUT and is about to have the blood drained from his brain and fed to Don Bartelo’s pregnant wife when the pregnant wife stabs Don Bartelo to death. Yeah, read that sentence again and tell me Lafayette doesn’t get the worst deals on this show.
My thoughts: WTF HE SEWED LAFAYETTE’S LIPS SHUT OMG NOTHING WILL EVER REACH THAT LEVEL OF DISTURBING ON THIS SHOW EVER AGAIN.
10) Terry decides to commit suicide rather than wait for the Ifrit to get him, but his sergeant manages to talk him out of it.
My thoughts: As a Muslim, I am slightly offended by the “suicide is for Muslims” line. Anyways, I feel like if I had a smoke monster spirit on my tail, I would be googling and Wikipedia-ing, and researching the hell out of the creature rather than waiting in a field to die.
11) Jason goes to see Jessica to talk about his parents being killed by vampires and he ends up shooting her in the head.
12) The vampires, all still high on Lilith’s blood, massacre a roomful of humans. Their bloodshed allows Lilith to appear. Eric sees Godric’s ghost, who urges him to stop feeding and to save his sister.
My thoughts: Well, it’s about time Lilith showed up. I can’t wait to see what she does next!
Overall, another great episode! As always, I’m impressed by the storylines and how they sometimes run independently and sometimes come together. The pacing for all of them is great, for the most part (I wish Terry’s was moving faster). We’re halfway into the season now and I think it’s safe to say that this one is turning out to be one of the stronger ones in the show’s run.
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Tags: True Blood