With the sixth and final season of Gossip Girl slated to start in just a few short weeks away (okay, like two months; saying “a few weeks” makes me feel like it isn’t so long), I know fans all over have a whole slew of things they want to see in the final season. From the reunion of Dair, to Chair sexytimes, to some coherent story telling; there are all sorts of earnest lists of requests out there for the writers of our favorite show.
This is not one of those lists.
This list represents what the writers need to do in order to capitalize on the best, most entertaining parts of the show they have created. Will any of them actually happen? Who knows, but a girl can dream!
On to the list:
1. More of Chuck being athletic
Because Chuck participating in traditionally athletic events always, and I mean ALWAYS, means outrageous ridiculous outfits. Need I remind you of the sleeveless, crown covered shirt? The velvet sweat suit? THE ONESIE?? More of these outfits would be more than welcome in future episodes. Honestly, I’d prefer one per episode. Like parties that inevitably bring all the characters together, Chuck participating in some sort of sporting activity should be a weekly occurrence.
Also, for the record, I wouldn’t mind getting a glimpse of Chuck’s kangaroo tattoo. The writers can’t just tease us with something like that and never reveal it.
2. Cece pulls a Bart Bass and is still alive and kicking
Being robbed of the possibility of Cece coming back with her gin and wisdom is just not something I am willing to live with. She was taken from us too soon, and for that reason, I would love for her to suddenly reappear in one of the early episodes to explain that she was on the run from one of her old lovers from the 70s, but she is now safe and can once again be her badass WASPy self while meddling in her favorite daughter’s life.
3. More crack ships
Because last season was WAYYY too serious with the whole love triangle thing. This season we need something more fun. Here are my requests:
A. Vufus: After re-watching some of season 1 this summer, it is clearer than ever the amazing sexual tension between our favorite waffle maker and his son’s bohemian bestie. I’m still not completely convinced that their entire history together is totally innocent. So now that Rufus is on the outs with his rich Mrs., it is about time that V returns and they can finally be out in the open with their love! I mean, she completely supports his affair with waffles, so she must be his soul mate, right?
B. Dacece: As mentioned in point 2, when Cece returns from ‘the dead’ it would be so wonderful if she and Dan could make things work. I know there is quite the age gap and she is technically his step-grandmother, but those smoldering gazes they gave each other in the first two seasons cannot be ignored!
C. Jackgina: Has there ever been two characters on this show better suited for each other than Jack Bass and Georgina Sparks? I don’t think so. These two together would be an unstoppable force of evil that the UES could never prepare for. Just picture it: what starts as a bitter showdown between rivals ends in hot, passionate hate sex and the ultimate scheme team is born. Make it happen, writers!
D. An NJBC Orgy: They are all young and hot and sexual, and most of them have already hooked up to some extent or another, so why not just go all out? It has to be an upgrade from the awkward Hilary Duff threesome of season 3, right?
4. The Blue Velvet Robe is finally worn by all of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club
If you have been watching the Gossip Girl episodes over and over again religiously like some of us have, you may have noticed that Blair owns a lovely blue velvet robe. You also may have noticed that Serena wore that robe near the end of season 1 when she was spiraling out of control because she thought she had killed that Pete guy. And then you also may have recognized the robe when it reappeared in season 4 covering the body of Chuck Bass when he was having secret hate sex with its rightful owner. So by my count, that means there is only one member of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club who still has to wear the magical velvet robe: our favorite Labrador, Nathanial Archibald. I don’t care how this wardrobe choice comes to pass (I’ll leave that up to the writers), I just want to see it happen so the circle can be complete.
Oh, and while we are talking about Natie, do you think we could get someone to fix that nasty bar fight/’lacrosse injury’ scar on his lip? I mean, I’m sure Lily knows someone, right? His pretty face is all he has! Don’t let it stayed ruined forever.
5. More Monkey
Never enough Monkey! I know it has been confirmed that he will be around for season 6 (yay!), but I want Monkey in every episode, in every scene. Okay, maybe not EVERY scene…but like 85% of them. He doesn’t have to be the focus. Just having him chill in the background is enough. He is so fuzzy and cuddly; I just want to have him hanging around. I don’t think that is too much to ask. No one hates Monkey, right? He is the one universally loved character! More Monkey in season 6!
And one small, tiny actual for serious wish
Just picture it: Serena, walks out of her building, still kind of trying to figure out where she is headed now that all her friends have their real lives underway, when she turns to head down the street and sees Carter just standing there with a smirk. He says “hey beautiful” in that sexy way of his and the shot cuts to Serena breaking out into a smile before the screen fades to black. Series over. I have so many epic feels about this, it just needs to happen. I mean, any sort of Carter return needs to happen but this, this especially needs to occur. It would be such a perfect ending.
Thoughts? What would be on your ridiculous list for the final season? More Cyrus? Jenny as the new Eleanor Waldorf designer? Rufus stuffing himself with waffles (his real true love) and ballooning to twice his size? Let me know! Let’s make this season the most ridiculous yet!
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Tags: Gossip Girl