Gossip Girl photo recap: Sabrina the 21-aged Hitch

by | Tue, 10/09/2012 at 4:46pm ET | 9048

Everyone’s favorite train wreck is back! Ha, no, I’m kidding. The final season premiere of Gossip Girl, titled “Gone Maybe Gone,” was actually not all bad: everyone’s favorite UESers banded together to save Serena only to find she kind of never wanted to see them ever again. Meanwhile, Ivy is scheming up trouble (plus sleeping with Rufus). It’s all very typical Gossip Girl fashion. Also in typical fashion, is the return of the photo recaps that everyone calls “Not funny but a good way to kill time.” (No, seriously, that’s a real quote.)

Hope y’all like! Until next week (and later today with the roundtable…)

Tags: | Categories: Photo Recaps
About the author: NoWhiteNoise Team
NoWhiteNoise Team
Posts with the byline as "NoWhiteNoise Team" are articles written in collaboration by the entire staff here at NoWhiteNoise.
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  • guardmydrink

    I CALL THIS POSITION THE TARANTULA. im screaming omg, perf as always

  • http://twitter.com/ley_la Ley

    OMG i laughed and cried!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re the best <3 TARANTULA and shit, y'all

  • http://twitter.com/introvertedN Mrs Archibald Bass

    Recap was hilarious. My favorite parts were Lily’s weirdly enough. “Look at all these boxes” “Look at all this mail!” “Rich people have it the hardest” Worst mother ever “I didn’t talk to my daughter in 4 months! What a great summer!” lolol

  • http://twitter.com/Christiana_Dets SeasonOfChuck&Blair

    Loved it!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/mandalbrot Amandicus Bamficus

    BB I MISSED YOU SOOOOOOOO

  • http://twitter.com/GGirlsss GGirlsss

    I think the BEST cap so far is the “Ok I’ll just stop talking now” one, lol. Like what?! Sometimes this show is great at doing one-liners on top of each other, and sometimes people just let really important moments slide because the writers forgot to go back and edit their work.

    Also, the Tarantula? EWWWWWWWW. Good one, bro.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=775315640 Sabrina Khawaja

    “Call me Vanessa”

    LMFAOOOOOO
    Oh God I’ve missed these! Sad there are only gonna be 9 more :( BUT STILL! Loved the part of Rufus and Lily being good parents XD

  • http://twitter.com/PureSimpleDair BrooklynWeGoHard

    Call me Vanessa! LMAO!

  • http://twitter.com/xburningdevilx Assfa

    i think a died a little lmao

  • Uncharmed&Average

    Flawless!! Nice work

  • Matt C.

    You’re right about your recaps being a great way to kill time, but you’re wrong that they aren’t funny…THEY’RE HILARIOUS. Between your recap and Vulture’s recap, my Tuesdays are always a blast. Such a shame we only have 9 more to go :(

  • http://twitter.com/DelenaNian_ ♥ In My DE Bubble ♥

    I missed this recaps <3

  • Jenifer Halvac

    call me vanessa, lol (: missed your caps!

  • M

    LOVED YOUR RECAP. ESPECIALLY LILY’S EXPRESSIONS. SO PERFECT. THE RUFLY CAPS WERE AWESOME. ALSO I NEED TO WASH MY EYES WITH BLEACH AFTER SEEING RIVY, IT WAS SO GROSS AND EEEEEEEEEEWWWW. “CALL ME VANESSA” LMFAO

  • guest

    LOOOL

  • Tania

    LMAO you should seriously write the show!

  • cacherr1

    I have to give Lily credit though, she is very aware she is a bad parent. I literally laugh out loud when Rufus said they raised two very good girls. I mean I do consider Serena to be good person who loves too freely but everyone and their mama knows Jenny is straight up evil (hello this is the same chick who was going to let her stepmother continue to believe she was sick in order to make Rufly get a divorce for some random reason).

  • http://twitter.com/whereheartlies Bonjour Belle!

    Now i understand why Ivufus was so gross that it scared me, i am arachnophobic

  • celine

    The best ones was Nate “dis bihh” because when I saw it on TV the first thing I thought is that it was the exact expression for a NWN photo recap with that line! And the call me Vanessa one, because I think many fans thought the same thing!

  • merrywanderer

    Honey Boo Boo!! I’m howling!

  • mittens

    Hehe. Nice touch with Birthday Cake over the CB scene. I see what you did there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/yeshna.bahadoor Yeshna Bahadoor

    lmao…
    this was a good one boy…
    i actually listened to Rihanna’s song while reading your photo recap…
    loved Lily’s caps and Michael, you are awesome dude :p

  • DanielleOrgan

    ok so how is no one recognizing the hilariousness that is the Blair in the limo crashing recap?! “AHHHHH WTF SHIT TITTIES BITCH!” I almost died. missed your recaps and glad both you and GG are back :)

  • http://twitter.com/Supsi85 Suvi

    Ah I just had to go through these again cos I needed a good laugh. Everything from Lily’s expressions to the Dickfus sex at the end, just flawless!

  • Val

    Sooo glad to have you back! Need more recaps. Didn’t Blair and Chuck nearly die in a limo accident? Didn’t seem to phase them this time… >.>

  • http://twitter.com/Smilka AllA

    I missed this so much!!!! great recap, thank you! <3

  • QMargo

    Ok, first of all, “Not funny, but a good way to kill time”…srsly? Well, from me personally, always a pleasure to read your recaps, they say laughing prolongs life, so thank you Michael, I find your recaps VERY FUNNY and an AWESOME WAY TO KILL TIME. <3!

    As for this episode, I guess my favourite is the cap with Serena and "OMG 9 more episodes of this" and the Louis reminder cap was also funny, and the one about God. Can't wait for the roundtable!

    P.S. High five to Serena for saying she is from Wisconsin. Made me think of That 70's show…I smiled.

  • http://twitter.com/xxviolentkisxx Glenna Mercado

    omg mogomogog i really miss you lollololol you made my day here in down under lololololo, the tarantula god that’s just vomit lol you caps are trolltastic as always xoxo

  • wateves

    Don’t know why Lily didn’t kick ivy out of her house. Just let her stay and insult the crap out of her. I guess no guards on the UES.

  • http://www.facebook.com/camilamjt Camila Miranda

    Mike, you’re absolutely hilarious! now that your recaps are back I see how much I really missed crying from laughter after reading them. can’t wait for the TVD recap!

  • 2xlive

    I forgot this isht was on so I’m a little late but omg grioehg403gv loll!!!!!! I gotta agree this is one of the best recaps ever! I nearly pissed myself.

    The tarantula needs to be in the kama sutra, for real. I froze my iTunes player for like 20 minutes just trying to figure out how that would work!
    Damn I’m beyond over the show but I will miss your photo caps like a mother.

  • http://twitter.com/jennyad Jen Dickson

    RIVY FTW!

  • lolz

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAA I’M SCREAMING!! THIS IS PERFECT!! Like the whole episode in a nutshell! btw, pleasee do more of these for the upcoming 9!

  • http://twitter.com/RauhlPrincess becca morgan.

    Just 9 more eps omfg let me love you Michael.

    P.S: nic and i are guest starring in the next one k.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cotheponce Coté Ponce

    Omg! so hilarious!!! I´m gonna print this recap! XD

  • Rizza Abenido

    oh god can’t breathe! haha! when are you going to post the photo recaps for the next two eps?? can’t wait!