Source: HBO

Source: HBO

I still haven’t quite figured out how True Blood manages to take up an hour of my time and still give me almost nothing to write about. I mean, is this season moving at a glacial pace or is that just me?
Luckily, some of the more useless storylines have reached their apparent dénouements. To those who watched “At Last,” you will recognize that I am, of course, talking about the most loathsome storyline of season six; the fairy quadruplets. Now, I’m sure that I’m jumping the gun, since they never announced for certain that the four of them are dead, but a man can dream, right? Not only has that been a largely fruitless storyline, but the actresses that played their teenage versions? I’ve seen better acting in porn. Like, it was nothing but razorblades to my ears whenever one of them spoke. Still, if they end up synthesizing a fairy Tru Blood, then I goes their existence wasn’t entirely pointless…

Catching up on the season’s other seemingly pointless plotlines, Alcide is still Packmaster and this time, he’s on the hunt for Emma who Sam has stolen back. Along the way, Sam picks up Nicole who was injured last week. The two have ill-conceived and regretful “our respective significant others just died” sex. Not hot. But other than the running and the pity sex, there’s not much to report on that front.

Oh, right, and Pam got shot… again. Is it just me or does it feel like she’s getting shot a lot? I mean, don’t vampires have, like, super fast reflexes? It feels like she should be pullin’ a Keanu and dodging those things, Matrix style.

Source: HBO

Source: HBO

Unfortunately, “At Last” also took one of the storylines I did like and pretty much took a baseball bat to it with both knees. As predicted last week, Willa was turned by Eric, but with a displaced romantic element to it. I mean, he turned her because she asked for it? It would appear that Eric has gone soft in his old age. Instead of my vengeful “turn her so her own father has to shoot her,” True Blood went for the tearful “turn her so her father will humanize us” angle. Thankfully, Sarah Newlin was there for the reunion and made sure that things didn’t go according to plan. Furthermore, the whole “Willa asked for it” thing is kinda problematic for me. It disrupts the whole civil rights/gay rights allegory. The whole point of those movements is that people were being punished for being born as they were. Well, when Willa throws caution to the wind and chooses to become a vampire, it just undermines that whole heavy-handed metaphor.

Luckily for “At Last” the Warlow storyline did pick up. Warlow is revealed to be Ben… which was, admittedly, a bit of a shocker for me. Well, not so shocking that he was hiding something, but I think I managed to not care about the character for so long that when he actually had a purpose in the plot, I was taken aback. Jason and- I legitimately don’t even remember his name in the show, so I’ll just call him Rutger Hauer- anyways, Jason and Rutger are trying to track him down. Not surprisingly, their plan fails. Jason is let go, but Rutger is condemned to, like Fairy Purgatory or something? It’s a place you don’t wanna be. However, Sookie finally made herself useful. She planned a trap for Warlow involving her pimping herself out so she could, essentially, catch him with his pants and his guard down, and that’s where we left off.

What did you think of this week’s episode?