Once Upon a Time 1.08 ‘Desperate Souls’ recap: Kiss my feet

“There is a town in Maine…” does nobody realize they use the same opening for the show as they did for the commercial advertisements of it? In other news, OUaT has come back after its midseason finale, where we all simultaneously wept over Graham, aka Regina’s ex friend-with-benefits, aka Emma’s new boo, aka the hot sheriff. RIP man with an accent I could never place. The episode revolved around Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin and the bid to be next sheriff, but let’s just take a moment of silence for Graham, because the characters in the show most certainly did not.

We open with Rumplestiltskin, spinning at a wheel when his son comes in. Kids? Yeah, I don’t know either. Maybe it’ll finally answer that question about why Rumple has some fixation with stealing children. Enter present day, in Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma comes in, still rocking that same red leather jacket, and he was…nice. He offered Emma Graham’s things, which first she said no to. Mr. Gold offered her his leather jacket and she said no, because hello she already has her own, but accepted a pair of walkie talkies after Gold gave a speech about how she should use them on Henry. He seemed sad, and it made me think who is the better character thus far: Rumply or the Evil Witch? I know, crazy.

Next we see Emma approaching Henry and giving him the walkies for Operation Cobra (that whole fairytale/real world debacle) , but Henry says it’s a bad idea to continue with the mission. That little boy is onto his mom and her murdering ways! Speaking of Regina, she is a BAMF as per usual, and appoints Sydney Glass (or the Magic Mirror) as new deputy instead of Emma. Now, Emma is getting all dolled up with her deputy badge so this doesn’t fly with her. Then Regina fires her. Ouch, cold blooded. Next, Emma is having an angry music, with loud music cranking and hammering a toaster. I like how she thinks. Apparently Mr. Gold and Regina are now enemies, so he stops by and offers to be Emma’s benefactor, which she accepts.

FLASHBACK TIME. Rumplestiltskin has to leave town with his son, who will get taken to serve in the army if they don’t bounce. A poor man stops them to ask for some money, and Rumply gives it to him because he was very nice in the past. However, the soldiers come up the road and find him and his son, and continue to tell a story of how Rumplestiltskin ran away from war, and returned home to a hateful wife. Instead of arresting them or anything, the head soldier makes Rumplestiltskin kiss his boot, because c’mon, that’s probably one of the best things you could ask for. The poor man rushes over, with a way to save his son, and is now Rumply’s benefactor. Connections!

Flashback to present day, and Sydney is busy being a sheriff until Emma comes bursting through the doors because (with help of Gold) she’s found out there needs to be an election for next deputy. Storybrook’s Next Top Deputy. I like it. Now another flashback (I like them, they keep me on my feet). I kind of tuned out at this part, to be honest, but the basic vibe I got was that to save his son, along with all the other children who are fighting in the war, Rumplestiltskin needs to steal a dagger from “The Dark One”. So yeah, always a good idea. Back to present day, and Gold and Regina have a standoff. Does anyone know his first name? He mentions Graham’s murder and Regina gets sort of touchy about the subject, like she is upset by it. Did anyone else get a vibe of her sadness during the murder scene?

Back in the diner, where Ruby (can’t wait for her to get an episode to be quite honest) is serving the happy family, meaning Emma and Henry, are mulling over the local newspaper. The front story is that Emma gave birth to Henry while in jail. Add this and the toaster scene, and Emma is turning out to be a real BAMF. She visits Regina’s house, but WAKE UP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. That’s not an exaggeration, it’s burning down. At first you thought Emma was going to leave Regina (who couldn’t get up for some reason), but then she actually jumped through fire, and extinguished the flame to get Madame Mayor out. Emma is surrounded by admirers and fans, but all she can notice is a rope at the door. And rope equals Rumplestiltskin, so something fishy was going onto Emma. She shows up at Gold’s shop and yells at him for quite some time about setting the fire. He tries to play it cool by saying that he did it so Emma could gain popularity and win the election, but Emma is just not wanting to win by showing people what a hero she is, and angrily storms out in her red leather jacket.

Flashback time. Rumply has this whole plan and sets the castle on fire with his son, using only one log of fire because it’s fairytale land and that can happen. He gets the dagger of the dark one and runs out for fear of getting burned. Smarty. Nobody else sees this because hello, The Dark One is afraid of fire. Back in real land, David and Mary Margaret meet and it made me miss David on the screen. It’s happy that he’s trying to work things out with his wife and all, but those eyes? I need them on my screen more. He’s hanging up Sydney Glass posters, while Mary is hanging up posters of Emma. I honestly thought there was a picture of Emma really drunk and stumbling, but then I realized it’s her carrying Regina out of the fire. They’re basically the same thing so it’s fine.

Rumplestiltskin sends his son away because he doesn’t want him to see him kill The Dark One, but more on that later. The sword says Zoso by the way, so that appears to be The Dark One’s name. Zoso points out the fact that while Rumply can control him, he cannot control the guards who are taking his son away. Zoso reveals himself  as the poor man who was Rumply’s benefactor, saying he needed a desperate soul to take over his job as The Dark One. The blade says Rumplestiltskin after he kills Zoso. RIP poor man.

Emma is at a debate for the election and is wearing what appears to be a different colored leather jacket. Four for you Emma! She outs Mr. Gold as the one who set the fire, and seemingly loses her chances at winning the election. We find her later with Ruby and a definitely-not-alcoholic beverage in hand, until Henry comes up and says Operation Cobra is back on. Then, Regina unwillingly hands her a deputy badge, since the townspeople like that she stood up to Gold. But then, Regina is like Gold is now both of our enemies, but he probably hates you more, so watch yo back beyotch.

Rumply’s son is being taken away, but then Rumply kills a man, stating that he is now the dark one, and KISS MY BOOT NOW HAHA WHAT. After the boot kissing, Rumplestiltskin kills all the soldiers in front of his son, because clearly it’s not okay to kill Zoso in front of him but 5 guards are fine. Understandably, the son starts backing away and is like “I don’t know what it going on with Papa but I am terrified.”

Back in Storybrooke, Gold comes into the police department to see Emma wearing the same leather jacket (old habits die hard?), and makes sure that Emma knows her outing him was all a part of the plan. He says that everyone is afraid of Regina, but they’re more afraid of him, and he knew a desperate soul when he sees one. Past to present! Bringing up the favor that Emma owes him, Gold says they’ll definitely find something for Emma to do…mwahahah.

And that was it. Overall it was a pretty good episode, and while I wish that they’d brought up Graham more (Creys, I miss his accent), and it seemed a bit rushed, I found myself enjoying the episode. Once Upon a Time is one of those really good shows that make you interested in the characters and their backgrounds, and tonight was no exception. Also there were many flashbacks. I’m serious, kiss my feet.