This very well might be my most unfavorable review of The Vampire Diaries ever. And if you’ve read my reviews, you know they’re basically weekly love letters (so it shouldn’t be too bad). Still: read with caution, fans!

Another week, another episode, another routine death in Mystic Falls — wait a minute, you say that’s a normal human-on-human death? Well, that’s not very routine at all. What happened to the usual “animal accident” coverup the town’s been doing for the past year now (in show time)? It seems tomorrow’s front page of The Mystic Falls Herald will read: “Man murdered by human, not animal.”

Last week I was already groaning that the show wanted to develop a love interest for Alaric when Jenna just died… and there are so many other things we need to be thinking about. I still feel that the show is doing this: they are almost halting some stories to take care of every romantic interest. Tyler isn’t just sired by Klaus, he’s betraying Caroline. Elena isn’t just upset about Stefan’s “betrayal,” it’s throwing her into Damon’s arms. Jeremy isn’t just leaving because, y’know, everyone’s dying, Bonnie’s upset he didn’t say bye. And apparently Klaus didn’t only make Tyler bite Caroline, he… likes her? Did I get the right impression there?

He was being quite genuine and — dare I say — tender with Caroline when he was, basically, saving her life. Although, Ms. Forbes could have just taken Caroline outside (let’s not get into it). But the sweetest part is… he left her a gift: “From [Santa] Klaus” it read. Well if that’s not the most romantic thing Klaus has done thus far then I don’t know what is! We know he has a soft side, for his family that is. Not for much else. So it’s interesting to see him interact this way with Caroline. I wonder what will come of it.

Klaus brings up a valid point, however. It’s understandable that Caroline is upset she’ll never be 18[*] but she has an entire world that’s waiting for her. She doesn’t have to confine herself inside the limits of Mystic Falls — and she has thousands, nay even millions, of “birthdays” left. Now that’s an acceptable reason to have a character leave Mystic Falls that makes the most sense.

[*] Let’s not talk about the stupid “funeral!!!!” stuff, because first of all birthdays aren’t just you becoming older it’s also celebrated because it’s the day of your birth and regardless of if you died it’s still your birthday and why exactly does Caroline need to forget her past self and why does Elena think it’s a good thing to have a funeral for Matt’s “ex-girlfriend and a really good friend”? Anyway…

But let’s just compel Jeremy who had, potentially, the most amazing story that could have been written for him. Did everyone just forget about ghosts? I think the writers of Vampire Diaries either forget or… I don’t know, but there is a huge potential here for a story about ghosts trying to, basically, have a war from the other side. It’s a story I thought was going somewhere this entire time and it indeed did go somewhere: to Denver. Oh, well. I only hope that Jeremy comes back in a big way because it’ll just be useless if he left for the hell of it.

Meanwhile, Matt was in this episode and no one noticed.

Well regardless, I’m glad that Dr. Fell has a hidden side of her (should I have expected anything less?) and, if I remember correctly, she should be related to Logan. Perhaps she’s back for revenge? (Someone should tell her to call Amanda Clarke.) At least she’s not just a love interest and now I’m very excited to see where her story goes.

But I would be a terrible Stefan and Elena fan if I did not comment on them at all. Everyone keeps mentioning that Stefan is becoming reckless and evil. He’s not. Stefan has always chosen to kill bad guys or people that would otherwise kill innocent people. In fact he killed Vicki, remember? You probably do since it’s one of the most memorable deaths of the series. All this talk about Stefan having “to be the better villain”: I’m not buying it. He’s not reckless, he’s heroic — and distancing himself from Elena is not only selfless but heartbreaking.

Now, could he have done it in a less I’m-going-to-kill-you way? Sure. But where’s the fun in that? Besides, he wouldn’t have actually done it. There’s no way. It’s a definite parallel to when Damon made her drink his blood and — well, he wasn’t about to kill her, but if it was him driving that car, he most likely would have if he needed to. And I think that’s the line that separates Damon and Stefan in which you still don’t know what Damon would actually do. And there’s also a disconnect here with the audience in which if Damon is willing to sacrifice everyone else for Elena’s sake (he once offered Bonnie’s life), then he’s in love with her; but if Stefan does it, he’s villainous.


And you might argue that “Damon’s changed since then!” but his own words indicate otherwise in the Damon-and-Elena-almost-kiss-again scene.

But I’ll leave that be. Apparently it’s “not right now” for those two.

Elena’s “you had me!” was spot on; Stefan’s “I lost you, you just haven’t realized it” makes me think the writers just want to push Elena even further in love with Damon. And I reiterate: I’m not buying it just yet.

Update: I forgot to mention that this was also one of the more bloodier episodes. And welcomingly, so. Thank you.