The longest show title ever, L.A. Reid stays on X Factor, and Super Bowl ad teasers

Hey, remember that time I was drunk and up at 2AM and wrote a post about the day’s news and everyone loved it? Okay, well actually only one of those things is true. And second, you should probably remember since it happened like 24 hours ago.

Well, I’m doing it again. Research shows that I’m 17% funnier when I’m sleepy. So here I am, lying in bed, reading today’s headlines, which include casting scoop for the longest show title in the history of television, people rejoicing that LA Reid will stay with The X Factor, and how companies tease Super Bowl ads. Um… okay.

And yes, me lying in bed is just as sexy as you imagine it is. Which is to say, not at all.

Sarah Chalke cast in How to Live With Your Parents For the Rest of Your Life… and breathe!

Holy shit is that not the longest title of a television series ever? Seriously, I want to know if there’s a longer series title. Goodness, gracious, and I thought Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 was pretty bad. I’m pretty much out of breath just thinking about saying the title.

This woman, Sarah Chalke who was cast in an ABC multi-cam sitcom pilot titled How to Live WIth Your Parents For the Rest of Your Life, went from the shortest-titled sitcom ever Scrubs to this. Of course, she did make a quick stop in semi-long How I Met Your Mother… she seems to be looking for longer titles wherever she goes. Next it’s going to be Those Awkward Situations You Sometimes Encounter When You’re Talking to Friends, Strangers, Acquaintances, or Whomever Else and Other Vignettes of My Life.

Which reminds me, she’s going to have a guest spot during season three of my favorite comedy Cougar Town. I never truly watched Scrubs, but I liked her on HIMYM and I love Cougar Town, so I hope her pilot gets picked up and wish her success.

But please, shorten the name. What sucks is the name is pretty good — if it weren’t so fucking long. My goodness! And unfortunately, if you make it any shorter, you ruin its appeal. Just how ABC changed Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 to just Apartment 23 which took away the essence of the show and then backtracked and made it The Bitch in Apartment 23. I don’t know how to change this show’s title without completely sucking up any of its charm.

Parents, ABC will title it. Then it will be How to Live With Your Parents. Funnily enough, Ted Mosby has been describing the way he met his kids’ mom for so long, this show could be about those damn kids sitting on that couch for eight years and counting. I’d title that show: Numb Butt. Short and to the point. [TVLine]

L.A. Reid: “No, no, no. I haven’t been fired. Right?! I don’t know why either!”

Hey, you guys remember when The X Factor told three of five people on its payroll: “Thanks but… fuck you, basically” and then fired them? Everyone was waiting to hear about L.A. Reid AKA The Token Black Judge and if he would be back for the second season.

I feel I must qualify with that I only watched one episode and a half of The X Factor towards the end of the season, but here’s what I remember mostly: everyone sucked. It was all bad. Even the contestants were absolutely horrible. “These were the final three contestants? For a $5 million cash prize!? Seriously!?” those were my thoughts, and their implications are very truthful.

I understand that L.A. Reid perhaps has the most experience out of all the judges, but he seemed like a Simon wannabe to me. Maybe I’m misremembering everything, but if I’m not, those shows only work because there’s one Simon.

Though, I can’t argue with Nicole Scherzinger being ousted. That woman is the worst judge ever. Yes, maybe even worse than Paula. At least Paula gives you positive feedback and then stops there, but when I was watching The Sing-Off, Nicole was terrible. All she would do is make puns.

Singer(s): “We found love in a hopeless place!!!”
Nicole: “Yes you did find love but not in a hopeless place with them pipes, gurlfriend!”

Singer(s): “Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas! Viva, viva Las Vegaaaaas!”
Nicole: “Viva la [singer’s name] because you rock, gurlfriend!”

Ugh.

Whatever, I’m all for L.A. Reid being in the second season because (A) I’m not going to watch and (B) for more videos like these:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsSrnvtlKDE]

You’re welcome. [EW]

Companies have ads to advertise ads

Late last month, Matthew Broderick reprised his iconic role as Ferris Bueller in a teaser that everyone erroneously (and stupidly) thought was for a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off sequel. It turns out the ad was a teaser for a fucking ad. What the fuck? I mean, seriously, when did we start becoming such a consuming-based country that we now have to advertise our advertisements!?

If you watch TV at all, you probably saw those JCPenny commercials advertising an advertisement for February 1st (the one where all those women were screaming “Nooooooooooo!!!!!” at old sales). What?

But what’s so awful about the Ferris Bueller one is that the advertisement was intended to air during the Super Bowl but Honda decided to put the entire ad online before the Big Game. So now you really have to ask yourself what the hell was the point in the first place?

Part of the Super Bowl experience is seeing how far companies are willing to go to tell their $3.5 million story on Sunday. But then they post it a week before. I don’t understand these people. [TVGuide]

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhkDdayA4iA]