The Vampire Diaries 3.13 ‘Bringing Out the Dead’ review: The Dinner Club

Hey, you guys: remember how awful the last three episodes of The Vampire Diaries have been? I say awful in a way that only Vampire Diaries can be awful, which is to say it was only “just good” instead of the usual “f—king awesome,” but still. It was kind of awful.

The storylines were going absolutely nowhere, everyone was caring about who their next potential suitor could be, it was just an absolute drag. But then something happened: maybe the writers decided to finally move things along, maybe it was the presence of Elijah, perhaps it’s that musical score that tricked me into thinking anything was actually happening — but The Vampire Diaries came back full force tonight. And with a deep sigh, I say: thank you… siiiigh.

To not make this the longest review ever, I’ll just break it down into sections.

CAROLINE’S DAD

How heartbreaking was this? It’s very easy to forget, but there are humans on this show — and nothing could prove that even more than tonight’s story with Caroline and her dad and his choice to not become the very thing he despises so much. I don’t know if the writers are trying to be allegorical here or not, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that they succeeded in making me feel like there was a grand loss here.

Jack Coleman and Candice Accola worked so well off each other in this episode, that it made my heart ache… much more than Elena for Alaric, because I just don’t feel like he’s been any kind of father figure in her life. The guy slept with her aunt and then she died. My eyes are still rolling that he’s living there, to be honest.

WHODUNIT

So in the midst of Caroline’s Dad and Klaus, Stefan, and Damon, and Elijah having dinner: the best storyline this season popped up! It’s so simple, so classic: it’s basically a game of Clue. Who is killing everyone? It can’t be Dr. Fell, that’s too easy; so then who? I just want it to be Matt so that he’s interesting again.

Regardless, it might be the first time that The Vampire Diaries has done suspense even remotely right. The problem with a vampire show is that vampires are fast, so suspense isn’t usually its forte. It’s the reason I think The Secret Circle is much better at being creepy and suspenseful. But now they have this storyline where it can literally be anyone that’s doing these killings.

In an episode where I had it figured out that Klaus’ mom was in that coffin (in previous episodes I figured this but once the coffin was in that cave, it obviously wasn’t a vampire), the mystery of these serial killings was a welcome addition.

ELENA BEING A BAMF and DINNER TABLE

You know how Elena is an idiot whose plans always fail? Last episode, she had a little, mini-plan that actually worked — and this episode she stabbed someone again! Slowly but surely, Elena is becoming someone to root for… rather than someone to pity. I’m all aboard that train…ing, with Elena singing “Eye of the tigaaaah” as she lifts weights (and presumably spits on the floor afterwards ’cause she’s just that much of a badass).

Meanwhile, as Elena is being so BAMF-y by murdering Alaric, everyone is at a table in Klaus’ home deciding how to keep her safe. Am I the only one that feels these Matt-Elena vibes? That scene where they’re hugging was put right after Klaus (via Damon, I believe right?) revealed plans of just having Elena marry a normal guy and have kids to continue the doppelganger bloodline. I’m just sayin’, I don’t think these Elena and Matt scenes are just coincidence.

But you’re probably right; it’s most likely just innocent hugging.

Not to nitpick, but there’s still contrast in the way Stefan and Damon would handle trying to protect Elena. (And for that matter, even Alaric, whose method is the best: train her to kill stuff.) Stefan was not prepared to make that deal with Klaus because it would basically be the end of Elena’s life anyway; meanwhile, Damon saw it as a viable solution because at least it kept her alive. These subtle differences continue to shape and create distinctive differences for both characters.

It’s why I continue to argue that Stefan would never have made Elena a vampire that time he “kidnapped” her. And it’s why I’ll also argue that Damon still might make her a vampire if it called for it, because at least it would keep her “alive.”

Just like Caroline wanted to do for her dad. Tear.

EVERY BROTHER FALLS FOR ELENA AND HER LOOKALIKES (aka MYTHOLOGY)

So Elijah and Klaus pined over the same girl, Tatia, who is the Original Doppelganger (which I guess makes her just Original, since she’s not the…copy…okay lame joke). What is it about the Elenas of the world that make male siblings just want her to love them back!? I want to see all of the Elenas throughout history, all the brothers that fell in love with hers (plural not possessive). Maybe there was a lesbian Elena and two girls fell for her. And then maybe…

Whoa, if I go further with that thought, this would be an entirely different blog.

THE ORIGINAL FAMILY

So I, as you probably did, guessed that the Original Witch was in the coffin. She “forgives” Klaus, for I assume keeping her “dead” all these years? But why forgive so quickly? And how does she know where he is? Whatever. I want to know what’s up your sleeve, lady! You don’t fool me.

Meanwhile, the rest of the BAMF Originals all stab Klaus… and it’s awesome. And they stab him in the front unlike how he stabbed them in the back (again, my lame joke). What I want to know is how this is the best-looking family of all time? What were the genes that went into that? It’s not fair. I could never stand beside those people because my ego would deflate — and it’s already low.

Anyway, overall this was a welcome episode after the last three. It was a very direct step in the right direction: Elijah was awesome, there was mystery, Stefan states clearly he loves Elena and Damon reciprocates (god, that scene where Stefan asks Elena if she asked Damon… I just: yes!!!!). So very good. Thank you, Vampire Diaries writers!

OTHER THOUGHTS

• Bonnie and her mom were in this episode. Oh.