America’s Next Top Model recap: Poor, poor Kyle

At the start of this week’s America’s Next Top Model, the Brits and the Americans were still in deep competition with each other. And while the Brits thought the Americans were working great together as a team, we quickly see that this assessment might not be completely accurate. Ebony is upset about the superhero name Tyra gave her because apparently she is ‘more grown up’ than Tyra thought, and this is for some reason Kyle’s fault. I can’t explain Ebony’s reasoning for this because I don’t even understand it.

The Tyra Message this week lets the girls know that they are going to be using their ‘superpowers’ to try and make sales at the challenge. Are these ‘superpowers’ going to be a weekly thing? I hope not, but we all know Tyra, once she gets something in her head it is difficult for her to move on.

Martin Lindstrom is present at the challenge to serve as a guide and judge. The girls are going to have to make their own commercial for some product (toilet paper, TV dinners, hand sanitizer, etc.), and the main point is to make a good first impression.

The Brits go first, followed by the Americans. Both teams had some extremely awkward commercials and some were alright, but none were particularly spectacular. After all the presentations were made, instead of judging them Martin drops the real bomb. The commercials are going to be judged by real, actual consumers! Gasp!

After the criticism from the consumers, the girls all think Kyle only got good feedback because she is the ‘girl next door’. Kyle feels attacked and decides she wants to go home. Talk about sensitive. Ms. J gives her a hug and successfully manages to talk her down from the ledge and bring her back into the competition. Well, at least she didn’t go full psycho like Louise.

Annaliese ends up winning the challenge, which is no surprise. She is a presenter in Britain, so I would hope she is good at selling products. And because of her win, all of the British girls receive diamond bracelets. That is quite the prize!

Back at the house, Kyle is still thinking about going home because, as she tells her mom, ‘this is hard!’ Girl, have you never watched this show? The girls are catty. Tyra pretends to be your fashion momma but she relishes in running you into the ground. What made you think this would ever be a walk in the park?

At the photo shoot Jay and Nigel roll up in some pimped out cars and tell the girls that they are going to be modeling British hats in American cars. What a clever mash-up of both cultures. If the photo shoot every week is going to be a comparison of American and British then I have the sinking feeling that they are probably just going to get worse and worse as we go along. Awesome.

Surprisingly there are no major breakdowns during the photo shoot, but afterwards back at the house, Kyle is packing up her stuff and still talking about going home. Like her fellow Americans keep saying, she really just needs to make a decision either way. This back and forth stuff is getting to be really obnoxious.

The judging this week is much less eventful than the previous one. No one cries. No one gets any extremely critical comments from the judges. For the second week in a row, AzMarie wins best photo. Her pose was straight up fierce, so everyone knew she was going to get it. Kyle gets called third and you can see a straight row of bitch faces from the girls behind her. I sympathize. I’m not looking forward to another week of her whining either.

The bottom two is two Americans, Seymone and Candace. Seymone is struggling to look like a model in her photos, while Candace can’t seem to be capable of making a different facial expression, which the judges felt was the worse problem, so she goes home and a tearful Seymone is given another chance.

Next week the girls are off to Toronto fashion week (Canada, the perfect balance between America and Britain!) and they get covered in maple syrup for the fashion shoot. Will you be watching? You know I will.