Gossip Girl roundtable: 5×23 ‘The Fugitives’

This week on Gossip Girl, it’s the penultimate episode of the season — and tension runs high when Blair can’t be in two places at once. Weirdly, that’s probably the epitome of the tension. It’s as if the show forgot that a character CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD (metaphorically). Plus, Blair and Serena are friends obviously. And Nate and Lola prove why they’re meant to be.

This week, we welcome newcomer Cory!

1. Blair and Serena are totes friends, you guys. TOTES.

Kate | They are, they are!!! And then I saw the promo…

Samantha | They are and have always been frenemies. As soon as Blair said “You really are my best friend” you KNEW next week was stuff was going to go down. Ugh, these two.

Monika | LOL it was funny how much they had to push the BFF thing this episode so that it will be extra heartbreaking when they fall apart again next episode. But seriously, it reminded me of the article on NWN a few months back about how GG writing is now all about telling instead of showing.

Cory | Gossip Girl began as a show about these two friends, since then it’s become about something else entirely. I think returning to this complex friendship between Serena and Blair is a wise decision, but let’s face it — it’s a little to late now isn’t it? The promo for the finale certainly doesn’t look promising. Serena and Blair have barely been friends all season, so this just feels like a completely random (and somewhat desperate) attempt to return to the glory days of the series. This is not to say that I did not find the scene between them to be quite heartwarming, I just don’t know whether or not I should be getting excited just yet.

Camila | I was so happy about their friendship during the episode and then at the end I was like “naah, it wasn’t Serena, no need to worry”. And then I saw the promo and Serena really seems to have done it, lol.

Michael |  It was so painfully obvious that they were trying as quickly as possible to repair their “friendship” this episode for the blowout next week to mean more. But unfortunately…it doesn’t work that way. The only thing that truly worked is that it’s just dramatic. That’s part of the reason why my heart pounded — because I was all, like, “oh, s–t’s about to go DOWN next week!”

2. What did you think of the scheme(s)?

Kate | It was a little obtuse, and while I just loved seeing everyone working together, even your precious Ivy, Michael! It still wasn’t as good as their old school schemes. Watching how it twisted, I wondered if the NJBC was getting a bit out of their depth. And then I saw the promo…

Samantha | The scheme was AWFUL! “Oh, this guy is working with the mob? Okay, let’s just get a picture of him with hookers. That will stop him”. No. The Chuck I know is smarter than that.

Monika | I was confused by the need for the scheme. Bart said he had a lot of info about the other guy’s illegal activities already. They didn’t have a lack of blackmail material. I thought Bart said it was just too dangerous to actually try to blackmail the guy.

Cory | This one is the first to have made sense in sometime. I thought the Ivy and Lola alliance was hilarious. They were both so adorable. The bit about Andrew Tyler was a bit rushed, however I actually thought it was quite fitting that a character who sort of floats in and out of the show was secretly responsible for the hit on Bart’s life. That guy knows everyone’s secrets!

Camila | Last week’s was better, but it was good, I liked it. It was just unnecessary. I laughed my ass off with Ivy making poses on the bed and Lola trying to do the same on that column in the middle of the room. I found it weird that Andrew didn’t do what Chuck asked him, maybe they could’ve noticed this too, but whatever. It was good.

Michael | Monika, to answer your question: the scheme was technically because Bart didn’t want to tell Chuck anything. But then…he thanked him…so it was weird. Anyway, this scheme made some sense — except for Diana calling off the deal when she had already given them the information. But Ivy in a red dress posing on a bed? Yeah, that basically means this was the best scheme all season. So any other argument is invalid. Also, the other scheme, Serena being Blair, just made me mad when that interviewer was like “oh yeah this was totally unnecessary.” Ugh guy.

3. Bart Bass is back!

Kate | He is, he is!!! Set Bart Bass FREE!!!! And then… I saw the promo…

Samantha | The Bart/ Chuck moments made me tear up. I don’t care how ridiculous it is that he is still alive if we get moments like that

Monika | Yeah, but he didn’t really do much. I forgot how stiff that guy was. And he looked so orange! I think next week looks a lot more interesting with Bart/Chuck tension over the Empire.

Cory | I hope I am not the only one who was sort of secretly hoping Elizabeth Hurley would turn out to be Bart post gender reassignment surgery. Perhaps it would be even more unbelievable than the revelation that Bart was actually alive, but I just cannot support the writers decision to do this. We had no reason to believe Bart was alive. Talk about jumping the shark.

Camila | Bart was nicer than I remembered him to be in this episode. I still find this storyline kind of weird, but I’m really curious to see Rufus’ and Lily’s reactions. It will be a priceless scene. Also, they made a reasonable explanation for his disappearing, so it’s ok.

Michael | So wait…how did he survive? And Bart is definitely Chuck’s dad right? And Elizabeth’s his mom? And is that seriously the end of Who’s Chuck’s Parental Units storylines? It can’t be! I like that both Chuck and Serena got some payoff with their d-bag fathers, at least.

4. Blair’s indecision between lovahs (because we have to…ugh…).

Kate | I think we’ve seen cold feet Blair enough that *we* can recognize her, even if she can’t. I liked the things she said to Serena, because they were honest, and the kind feelings I think any girl would have in Blair’s situation. I still want to see her really pick herself for once and no, the story line at W doesn’t *really* count. We’ll see how well they can sell the whole ‘Blair finally picking someone’ idea. At the moment, it feels forced, but between a Serena/Blair War, Gossip Girl, how Dan is feeling, and heavens whatever is going on with Chuck, maybe I’ll buy it? Because, you know… I saw the promo…

Samantha | I’m over it. I hope both boys end up rejecting her ass.

Monika | Sigh. I mean, I’m glad she’s taking love very seriously and doesn’t want to commit to using the word without being sure. But I’m just so over the whole love triangle. Why can’t Blair have more interesting issues?

Cory | Didn’t she chose Dan three weeks ago? I am so tired of this “Blair is caught between two men” storyline/nonsense. We just went through an entire season of the Louis/Blair/Chuck love triangle, and this is the payoff? More love triangles? Or is it a rhombus now since Serena also must be involved?

Camila | I don’t see her making a choice between lovers this episode. In my opinion she wanted to be with Chuck to support and help him as a friend but at the same time she wanted to be there with Dan for their relationship. Well, she didn’t want to be there too much for Dan, since she sent Serena, but whatever. I really think next episode will be about feelings, this one was more about trust and friendship not only with Chuck, but with Serena. About her uncertainty about wanting to go to Rome, she had a point. Blair Waldorf is in the process of rediscovering herself and she wanted to have some time to herself.

Michael | The issue I had with the Rome thing is that the interview seemed like such a nonissue. Blair didn’t need to spend every waking second with Dan. She could very much have just visited him like she mentioned. And then when the interviewer was all like “this is a complete waste of time,” I was like, “God just STFU!!!!” Anyway, I agree with you Camila, that it did appear to be more like you described. I’m glad that Blair isn’t deciding to give her heart so easily…but at the same time, it’s obviously still going to be a huge triangle thing, given the promo and interviews and spoilers. So, next week…here we come…

5. What are your predictions for next week’s finale?

Kate | If ta-da, Bart is alive, then geez, what did you think was going to happen Chuck? Daddy’s going to take back all his toys. Blair’s going to go full on Queen B and it looks like exploiting Dan to get to Serena is going to be part of that. Georgina’s back in town, wondering what role she will play, but toying with Dan always seems to be in her storyline. Blair has to make a choice between Chuck and Dan, and everything says we get a clear answer this time. I’m thinking it’s Chuck, but you know… that’s what I got ’cause… I saw the promos, lol.

Samantha | Chuck/Blair/Dan drama again. Rufus/Lily/Bart drama again. Nate being pretty again. GEORGINA.

Monika | Hahah, well the Canadian promo already gave away quite a bit. I don’t want to spoil anything for readers who haven’t seen the (highly bewildering) previews. But one thing I do think might happen that I didn’t see any mention of is a reestablishment of the Bart/Lily/Rufus triangle, especially with all the Rufus/Lily tensions that have been built over the last several episodes.

Cory | I hope the writers don’t let me down, but I expect they will. I think it’s quite annoying that Blair is making this out to be a choice — Dan shouldn’t be a choice, and neither should Chuck. Both men should forget her just for insinuating they are options for her… and she needs to figure out which option suits her best. However, this could go another way entirely. Blair hasn’t given me any reason to believe (yet) that she is in fact still in love with Chuck. She cares for him, yes. But does she love him? Her motivation for avoiding telling Dan that she loves him makes sense. She’s said “I love you” to three different men, and they all let her down in a big way. That said, I think Blair needs to focus on herself. It’s hard to care about the characters when they do not go to college, have jobs, aspirations (besides, maybe Dan), or drives like any normal human being would. Watching them float around the UES with loads of disposal income and no real lives isn’t the show I signed up for. I miss when it was relatable. I expect the finale will send the show over the edge and any hope of returning to the glory days will be forever lost.

Camila | Dair will end (at least for now), Derena will happen, Chair will happen. Blerena will be on its most screwed up fight so far (let’s face it, it was horrible). I think Dan will have sex with Serena to get back at Blair or something like this and Serena will enjoy it because she’s in love with Dan (and she wants he dihh). The episode’s name is “The Return of the Ring” and the only ring on the show is the one Chuck gave Blair. In my opinion that’s a hint of who she’ll choose. I don’t know, it’s 1am and I’m sleepy.

Michael | Georgina is back…and technically Blair owes her a favor. So what is it? And will she cash in? I think Penelope is Gossip Girl. Blair will choose gravel and jump off the Empire. Nothing will make sense. There will be drama. And Rufus will stress-eat waffles.

6. Thoughts on anything I forgot?

Kate | Love all the throwbacks we are getting. The lingerie, the limo scene felt like it mirrored Bart’s funeral a bit, and Dan and Serena in the promo looks a lot like Nate and Serena in S1. Serena wearing a headband as ‘Blair’ had me roaring with laughter.

Samantha | Eleanor Waldorf is flawless. After 5 seasons, Andrew Tyler gets an actual storyline! Lola knew they need two blondes so she went and got….Ivy, who is clearly now a red head. Epic failure by the hair department, again. (Also, not to bring on haters but can we just mention Dan’s hair after he got out of the shower’? OMG John Mayer lite, as one of my friends called it. It looked like a mop was eating his head.)

Monika | DAN’S HAIR WHEN HE GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER. That is all.

Cory | Dan and Serena and Chuck and Blair interacting as friends is great! I just wish Serena would move on. Last year she gave quite a speech about choices. This season her choices have been to destroy her relationships. Nice.

Camila | Someone cut Dan’s hair ASAP! Please! At the beginning of the episode I almost screamed, I was scared by it. Ivy was adorable, I want her more on my screen.

Michael | So Diana is just gone? Well okay. And she’s not Bart nor his twin sister? Fine. Also, since we’re discussing it, I may be going crazy, but even though we give Dan and Penn a lot of flack for the hair — he’s got really great hair. I’m kind of jealous. Plus, ever since I saw that Bedford Diaries clip, it’s like we can’t even make fun of his current hair.

7. What grade would you give this episode?

Kate | Just a B. The scheming didn’t flow as well for me, and I was disappointed at not really feeling for the characters as much as I knew I should have been. Serena having to play girlfriend to Dan, Nate not really knowing how he feels about Diana, the empathy we see on Blair’s face when Chuck says he isn’t doing well- those connections weren’t there for me and it made me sad.

Samantha | B-, just because the scheme was so horrendously awful.

Monika | Hmm, I would give it a B+. Way less painful than many of the other episodes this season but not as fun as last week’s.

Cory | This is generous: B-

Camila | B+. It was a solid episode, only with somethings I found unrealistic like Serena sending Blair’s diary to GG. I know these two will never stop with things like that, but this was too much. You just DON’T do that. But this is Gossip Girl, so.

Michael | B from me, too. Like Monika said, not as fun as last week’s. The real goodness came from the final five minutes, and of course Ivy and Lola in the hotel. Serena acting as Blair, actually, made me seriously laugh, so there was that too. But overall, not exactly the thrill ride I was expecting after resurrecting a character.