The Bachelorette 8.01 recap: Emily Maynard gives reality TV love a second try

Greetings, fellow reality TV addicts! Welcome to season 8 of The Bachelorette. I’m looking forward to recapping Emily Maynard’s second attempt at finding love via reality TV. This first week, I’ll be highlighting a few of my early favorites…but we all know the good stuff starts with the dates next week!

The Girl

When I found out that Emily was going to be this season’s Bachelorette, I can’t say I was immediately thrilled. Don’t get me wrong – I thought Emily was adorable on Brad Womack’s season of The Bachelor. She wasn’t my favorite bachelorette that season, but she was so cute and definitely the best suited to Brad. I felt like he absolutely made the best choice. I mean, come on, she is basically real-life southern Barbie with a heart of gold. The thing that concerned me was the thought that Emily was planning to spend so much time away from her six-year-old daughter to go through the harrowing experience of being on national television again. So I was relieved to find out that this season is taking place, at least to begin with, in Emily’s hometown of Charlotte, NC so she can be close to her. The opening sequence featured a lot of cute moments between Emily and little Ricki, but at one point she said, “I can’t go through this and have it not work again.” Uh, given the track record of this show, you may want to consider online dating or something next time. Just saying.

The Guys

After meeting Emily we are introduced to a select handful of this year’s eligible bachelors. I can’t say that any one person really won me over, but there were a few that earned my initial stamp of approval:

• Ryan, 31, Georgia: Used to be a professional football player and now trains athletes and works with kids. Seems like a good match for a single mom.
• Jef, 27, Utah: The CEO of a water bottle company that uses money from sales to provide clean water to people in need. Owns a business and helps the helpless? Sounds like a keeper to me.

• "He'd be hot in a racecar," says Emily.

  Arie, 30, Arizona: An extremely attractive race-car driver. He was a bit nervous about the fact that Emily’s late fiancé was also a race-car driver, but when he meets her she doesn’t seem fazed. She says that racing and cars are a big part of her life and really the only sport she’s interested in.

There are also a couple of the guys I’m on the fence about:

• Tony, 30, Oregon: He makes some lame jokes and he’s a total fitness junkie. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I’m just not that into guys who are too into themselves. In fairness, he is also a single father and that may make him the perfect fit for Emily.
• David, 33, New York: Good looking singer/songwriter from New York, usually right up my alley. But the footage we saw of him singing was less than impressive, and he definitely gave off the vibe of someone trying to sound smarter than he actually is.

Introductions

The initial introductions are easily the most awkward part of any season. One by one, each bachelor steps out of the limo to meet Emily for the first time and try to make an impression. There is definitely a theme of families and children going on here. Emily jokes that what she wants out of this is a minivan full of babies and there are a few dads in the mix – one who has a 6 kid head start. Most of the introductions are a little painful to watch: forced greetings, some attempted flirting, and one too many awkward hugs. And of course, there are the gimmicks.

The Good

Doug is another single dad who sweetly asked Emily how her kid was doing with everything. It broke the ice right away and was one of the most natural meetings. Later, he gives her a nice letter from his son.

Michael is a long-haired rehab counselor. He used a gimmick but it was simple and not over the top. He told Emily he loves music and gave her a guitar pick to help her remember him.

Ryan said that he had written down what he wanted to say, and held up a paper that said “You are beautiful” on one side and “I am so nervous” on the other. He seemed really sweet and genuine. It came off really well.

The Bad

Tony actually brought in a glass slipper. What I want to know is how he knew her shoe size? Fate?

Randy dressed up like a grandma. I’m guessing this was meant to be a throwback to Brittney’s grandma on The Bachelor? I was laughing, but let’s just say it wasn’t exactly “with him.”

Travis brought an ostrich egg to symbolize Emily and her daughter, saying that he’ll take care of it like he would take care of them. Seriously, where do they even come up with this stuff? Who thinks that recreating your eighth grade home ec assignment is the best way to woo a woman? Is it bad that I want him to symbolically break it when Emily inevitably gives him the boot?

The Villain

Also known as Helicopter Guy, this season’s apparent bad guy is Kalon, the arrogant “luxury brand consultant” who flew in on a helicopter. He makes a big deal about how much money he makes and what a player he “used to be.” When he’s talking to Emily and someone politely asks to cut in, he says no. When confronted about it he asks, “What? Should I have just handed her over?” Does that strike anyone else as a bit possessive? He actually says the words “Sorry I made you wait for me, but I promise I’m worth it.” Not convinced so far, Kalon.

And the first roses go to…

So who was given the coveted First Impression Rose? That honor goes to Doug, the single father with a glowing letter of recommendation from his son. Most of the guys seemed pretty gracious about that decision, aside from Helicopter Guy (of course) and Chris, who brought in little bobblehead doppelgangers of himself and Emily and I guess felt he was owed the rose for his hard work.

At the rose ceremony, both Chris and Kalon were given roses, along with: Ryan, Arie, Charlie, Jef, Nate, Sean, Joe, Kyle, Aaron, Alejandro, John, Alessandro, Michael, Steve, Tony, and Travis.

LATER THIS SEASON: Looks like pretty standard fair for The Bachelorette: Some world travel, some elaborate dates, and some discussion about whether there’s a side to someone she isn’t seeing (the answer is always yes).  I, for one, am excited for another dramatic summer.

What did you guys think of our first look at this batch of bachelors? Who would you have given the first impression rose to? Who is annoying you already? Let us know in the comments!