Awkward. 2×05 ‘My Love is a Black Heart’ review: We need to re-crown the queen of the lame

Now that Jenna has a boyfriend and another hot guy still semi-in-love with her, it’s come to the attention of the entire fandom, whether you’re Team Matty or Team Loser Jake, that Jenna is no longer very awkward at all. Before this season, I would say that the most awkward crown would go to Ming, but after she aligned herself with the very powerful Asian Mafia and got herself some Yao action in this episode (it’s not racist, Fred Wu is just really tall), I would say she’s one of the cool kids now too. That leaves Tamara, who’s still literally wetting her pants over that idiot Ricky Schwartz. Hello, he doesn’t even understand the meaning of a Black Hearts party, but good for him for finding Sadie. They’re perfect for each other and maybe their new relationship will finally help T get over him.

Let’s talk about Jake for a second here, and how the contradictions of his character are starting to eclipse that of Matty’s. Last week, he was worried about how much Matty’s summer love hurt him, yet this week he tells Jenna that Matty is a true playa who doesn’t get emotionally attached. In addition, sometimes I wish I were Karen Smith so that I could scrutinize his ethnicity without sounding judgmental. Oh, forget it. Why does his last name end in a vowel as if he’s the next roommate of the Jersey Shore, when clearly he’s a white boy? However, upon further reflection, I think Matty is still worse. In this week’s episode alone, he’s all over Courtney, which may or may not be a ploy to purposely make Jenna fume, but then he takes food from her plate so she doesn’t have an allergic reaction and even leaves his new girl to bring her ice.

In grown up land, it looks as though Val isn’t making a move for Kevin, as she mentioned some Luke guy in this episode. There’s not really a whole lot of room in a twenty minute episode to showcase a new adult romance, though we see a lot of Lacey’s broken heart. As a child of a broken home, I personally think her selfish bitterness would be better utilized against Kevin if she were to buy Jenna a bigger and better Valentine’s Day gift. What I’d like to know is what she’s going to do when she’s forced to get a real job. You know, one that requires her to be sober during the day. Once again, there’s no mention of Jenna’s blog or her new online stalker, which may be saved for season three so that the series doesn’t run out of steam.

Speaking of Jenna and things that will run out of steam, I predict that Jenna’s failure to return Jake’s profession of love will begin the slow demise of their relationship. Jake will finally realize that Jenna loves Matty and that Matty loves her back, and Jenna will realize that she settled for a golden retriever. Even if Matty seems to be falling for Courtney, he always comes through when Jenna actually needs him, rather than Jake, who just tries to hard.