With the sixth and final season of Gossip Girl slated to start in just a few short weeks away (okay, like two months; saying “a few weeks” makes me feel like it isn’t so long), I know fans all over have a whole slew of things they want to see in the final season. From the reunion of Dair, to Chair sexytimes, to some coherent story telling; there are all sorts of earnest lists of requests out there for the writers of our favorite show.
This is not one of those lists.
This list represents what the writers need to do in order to capitalize on the best, most entertaining parts of the show they have created. Will any of them actually happen? Who knows, but a girl can dream!
On to the list:
Because Chuck participating in traditionally athletic events always, and I mean ALWAYS, means outrageous ridiculous outfits. Need I remind you of the sleeveless, crown covered shirt? The velvet sweat suit? THE ONESIE?? More of these outfits would be more than welcome in future episodes. Honestly, I’d prefer one per episode. Like parties that inevitably bring all the characters together, Chuck participating in some sort of sporting activity should be a weekly occurrence.
Also, for the record, I wouldn’t mind getting a glimpse of Chuck’s kangaroo tattoo. The writers can’t just tease us with something like that and never reveal it.
Because last season was WAYYY too serious with the whole love triangle thing. This season we need something more fun. Here are my requests:
A. Vufus: After re-watching some of season 1 this summer, it is clearer than ever the amazing sexual tension between our favorite waffle maker and his son’s bohemian bestie. I’m still not completely convinced that their entire history together is totally innocent. So now that Rufus is on the outs with his rich Mrs., it is about time that V returns and they can finally be out in the open with their love! I mean, she completely supports his affair with waffles, so she must be his soul mate, right?
B. Dacece: As mentioned in point 2, when Cece returns from ‘the dead’ it would be so wonderful if she and Dan could make things work. I know there is quite the age gap and she is technically his step-grandmother, but those smoldering gazes they gave each other in the first two seasons cannot be ignored!
C. Jackgina: Has there ever been two characters on this show better suited for each other than Jack Bass and Georgina Sparks? I don’t think so. These two together would be an unstoppable force of evil that the UES could never prepare for. Just picture it: what starts as a bitter showdown between rivals ends in hot, passionate hate sex and the ultimate scheme team is born. Make it happen, writers!
D. An NJBC Orgy: They are all young and hot and sexual, and most of them have already hooked up to some extent or another, so why not just go all out? It has to be an upgrade from the awkward Hilary Duff threesome of season 3, right?
Oh, and while we are talking about Natie, do you think we could get someone to fix that nasty bar fight/’lacrosse injury’ scar on his lip? I mean, I’m sure Lily knows someone, right? His pretty face is all he has! Don’t let it stayed ruined forever.
Never enough Monkey! I know it has been confirmed that he will be around for season 6 (yay!), but I want Monkey in every episode, in every scene. Okay, maybe not EVERY scene…but like 85% of them. He doesn’t have to be the focus. Just having him chill in the background is enough. He is so fuzzy and cuddly; I just want to have him hanging around. I don’t think that is too much to ask. No one hates Monkey, right? He is the one universally loved character! More Monkey in season 6!
Just picture it: Serena, walks out of her building, still kind of trying to figure out where she is headed now that all her friends have their real lives underway, when she turns to head down the street and sees Carter just standing there with a smirk. He says “hey beautiful” in that sexy way of his and the shot cuts to Serena breaking out into a smile before the screen fades to black. Series over. I have so many epic feels about this, it just needs to happen. I mean, any sort of Carter return needs to happen but this, this especially needs to occur. It would be such a perfect ending.
Thoughts? What would be on your ridiculous list for the final season? More Cyrus? Jenny as the new Eleanor Waldorf designer? Rufus stuffing himself with waffles (his real true love) and ballooning to twice his size? Let me know! Let’s make this season the most ridiculous yet!
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HAHAHAHA I LOVE this article!!! I support ALL of your crackship pairings LOL, especially Vufus and Jackgina. I also always thought there was a lot of sexual tension between Rufus and Vanessa. And Jackgina would be the most entertaining thing this show could ever come up with.
Haha this is great!
My crackship dream: Danrota FTW. Sorry Vanya.
And Lily turns turns to cream filled croissants and cocktails full time and ends up in a fat-suit, Betty Draper style. I seriously think this would lift the show to eternal cult status, just imagine the gifs!!
To make the 6th season of Gossip Girl the best one yet, well, to be honest would take a miracle, because we can not just like that forget the boring s3, unstable s4 and awful s5, right? Because nothing could beat s1's energy and s2's golden moments. So I think what could help Gossip Girl to at least take 3rd place along with those would be:
1. A good main storyline that would start in ep 1 and end in the grand finale!
2. UES!!!!! When was the last time we got to see what the UES is about? I don't mean just parties, I mean, seeing all the places these kids go to. Remember Nate's daily run in the park? Having brunch at that cool hotel? The cotillion at that gorgeous ball room? Gossip Girl was not always about who makes out with whom or gets drunk somewhere...it was also about WHERE they made out and WHERE the got drunk! So I would like to scenes at Victrola, brunch place, steps of the Met!
3. I know this is impossible, but remember the time when EVERY character had a story line of his own? That somehow interconnected with the rest? And it made sense? Or when every character had great phrases? Like Dan's "Google 'revenge' and you get blairwaldorf.com." or Chuck's burns like "I don't think of you" to Dan. Gossip Girl used to make me laugh!
4. Couture!!!!! And good couture at that because whatever the hell Blair and Serena were wearing last season was just AWFUL!! I don't even want to talk about the hair...Gossip Girl was unique because it had 6 different characters with different styles, especially the girls so that every female viewer could find someone to relate to. Please bring that back! And please can someone fire the hair stylist!
5. Music - ok, that has been sort of ok for the past 4 years, but nothing beats s1's and s2's soundtracks. Gossip Girl's soundtrack like no other teen show perfectly suited every situation revolving around the main characters. With Serena I will always associate The Kills, Nate - The Virgins, Chuck - The Filthy Youth, Blair - Soho Dolls, Dan - One Republic. Please, more of that kind of music and less indie, not because its bad, but because this is not The OC.
6. Out of your entire list, I can only agree with the Carter part. Man, THIS is the guy for Serena!
well we are going in the right direction I think both Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage went MIA around in the 3rd season (Josh was just out, while only wrote like one episode, and completely disappeared by the 4th).
As for music yeah it wasn't same, and doesn't help every show on CW started using the same music. I recall GG and TVD having the same music in 2009/2010.
Serena's fashion was okay, Blair's was just a tranwreck, but I put it down to her being insane as she seem to get better by the end of the season and her fashion seems to be back.
They also need to go back to their theme of French royalty like they had in season 1 with the darkness of scenery.
Yes to theme of French royalty!
An NJBC Orgy? Yes, please! Blair's already hooked up with Chuck and Nate, Serena with Nate, and we all know Nate and Chuck have been doing something behind closed doors since they were pot-head teenagers. The only new partnering would be Serena and Chuck and I've always been pro-Cherena (Seruck?).
My other wish list hook up is Chily. Tottally wrong, but totally right. Great article :-)
Gotta agree with all of this! Mmm NJBC orgy and some Chily action - now that's what I'm talking about!
I want the return of the siblings! All of them!
Just to add one more crack ship to this awesome list- Nate and Lily (Nily?). It's only natural for them to hook up. Lily has all the qualities Nate is looking for in a woman, she's age inappropriate, a van der Woodsen, married AND Chuck's sort-of-mom.
I don't know what I ship more, Nily or Chily. I mean, Lily IS basically Nate's perfect woman...but it is obvious that Lily is dying to tap the younger Bass ass. I just don't know...
Oh thank God! I'm not the only one who likes Chiiy. I know CB are on but Chuck and Lily have this weird mother/son relationship with an undercurrent of pretty darn noticeable sexual tension. But it won't happen so perhaps Nily? lol
You included the kangaroo tattoo <333333 ;) And we may not get Vufus but we're getting Rivy (Rufus+Ivy), so that'll make these two bores a little interesting. But I worry about Rufus' waffles; how will they deal with such betrayal!
And Chuck in athletic gear, yes! Chuck in a tux, please!! Love all the others too, esp. Natey in the velvet robe and Carter. Oh Carter. That smirk. Those eyes, haha.
Love Jackgina but it'd be even more fabulous to have Phillip in the mix. He can be their whipping boy. And now that we know our fave NYMag recappers are making an appearance, I would love to see Chris and Chuck get hot and heavy for a scheme, but alas both Chris and Jess will probably be trapped in Borescreenlandia with you know who.
I'm kind of excited for Rivy? Obviously it doesn't live up to Vufus, but I think Rufus was always destined to rob the cradle, so this is perfect for him. I will miss househusband Rufus, but I think Ivy will rule that roost and he will be back soon enough.
And I (and Chris too, I would guess) could die happily if Chris and Chuck got to hook up. But I will settle for having him and JPress interacting with anyone from the NJBC. They deserve that at least.
This wish-list is *excellent*. May I also add to our increasing list of demands:
* I want UES Parties/elaborately costumed and coutured events that take the show back to its Versailles-scheming roots. Parties that serve an ACTUAL
purpose + tap into "the scandalous lives of
Manhattan's elite - much like the fabulous masquerade ball in S1.
* I do *not* want events/functions/parties that are mere window dressing
or that contradict basic tenets of the characters; yes, SLEEP NO MORE
episode and ROYAL WEDDING and BRITISH SALON debacle-episodes in S5 - I
am looking at you.
* If we can include Chuck and Blair having hot and kinky sex in these said parties all will be well.
* Addendum: I do *not* want to see the frackery of S3 'implied' Chuck and Blair sex ie: where it is alluded to through dialogue or abruptly cut away from (ie: the 'no talking' promo that promised WAY more than it delivered).
* In short - Savage + Schwartz - I want the "white hot (angry) sex" that I was promised a few seasons ago before you bailed on this show and it went to crap.
* The return of Chuck's sparkly-tuxedos! It has been so long since Chuck had a sense of whimsy to his fashion sense; I can only hope that the glimpses of purple, bowties, plaid + peonies that we are seeing will pre-empt this.
Also - do not judge me, because i *adore* Phillip - but I think I kinda ship Dan + Georgina as endgame; that said, Georgie is far too good for him so perhaps I ship Dan + Offscreenlandia most of all.
Carter + Serena FTW!
Yes to this.
People said Chair was boring in season 3 and that wasn't the case (except the writers barely allowed them to scheme which was annoying), from dialogue it sounded like those two had whole lot more sex than Serenate (who was always shown doing sexy time) but it was only discussed in conversation and that was annoying. I mean got some of it in season 4 when they were sneaking around but I wanted to see sexy time with them as couple.
love dan and blair dair forever
Love the list. The crack ships are insanely awesome. I'd swap Vufus out for Chuck and Lily only because Vanessa is no longer on the show. That it'd be awesome if she shows up to profess her undying lust to Rufus!
The proposed ending is cute and it would be nice to see it happen (love Scarter) but I wouldn't want it to close the series. That last scene belongs to Blair and Serena imo!