The New Normal pilot review: Would you like some black and gay stew?

Long before The New Normal even aired on NBC, it was already creating controversy. An NBC affiliate in Salt Lake City, Utah pulled the program from its lineup after the obtuse One Million Moms (ahem, 50,000) threw multiple tantrums.

Content-wise, this is certainly what I would consider mild (TV-PG), however it’s equally offensive in that it doesn’t portray gay relationships adequately or correctly.

The gay men you see in the media are not the same ones you will meet in real life. The media has been exaggerating minorities since its birth hundreds of years of ago (okay, maybe not that long). First homosexual men were seen as social pariahs, and now they are seen as fun, little accessories for straight women. The media would have you believe homosexual men are all about helping straight women pick the right shoes, clothes, hair-styles, and they just love girl talk about periods and breast exams.

Wrong. Truthfully, you’d be hard pressed to actually find a gay man who doesn’t want just that: another gay man. Where are the examples in the media of gay men who actually embrace the fact that they are men? It isn’t about how masculine you are per sé, but more to do with the fact that you, as a man, understand you are different from women. No matter how much you love them, you don’t actually want to be them.

This brings me to the relationship between the lead characters Dr. David Murray (Justin Bartha) and his partner Bryan Collins (Andrew Rannells). The first scene we see of them together couldn’t be more worthy of an eye roll. Princess Bryan has just returned from an all day shopping trip where he just saw the absolute CUTEST baby and he decided he just has to have one of his own as an accessory this fall. David can’t be bothered with such chatter and says “during half-time, babe.”

Goldie Clemmons (Georgia King) is one step away from walking the catwalk…of a strip club. She catches her boyfriend in bed with another woman and decides she wants to change her life. The problem is she has no idea how to accomplish this and instead of deciding to empower herself, and make an actual change for her and her daughter Shania (Bebe Wood), she decides she’ll just get pregnant. And she falls into this cute, little gay famaweee who is going to help her become a lawyer. It comes off as completely uninspiring.

The lovely Ellen Barkin is stuck in an unlikable and unfunny role as Goldie’s grandmother Jane Forrest. Jane is a racist, close-minded bigot who comes off as a just a racist, close-minded bigot. She has no depth whatsoever, ergo painfully unfunny. When she discovers Goldie is acting a surrogate, she delivers this “hilarious” line: “I feel like I woke up and ate some black and gay stew.”

Topping it all off is NeNe Leakes, coming straight off Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta. She’s a big, funny black lady and assistant to Princess Bryan. Or at least that is how we are supposed to feel. Not in least.

The plot, as most of you tuning into this review will already know, is about a gay couple (David and Bryan) who have a surrogate (Goldie) to aid them in having a child of their own.

The entire episode basically shoves it down your throat that David and Bryan are to be praised and adored for their decision to have a child. This is, despite the fact that Bryan is a complete ass hat and his desire to have a child comes off as completely and utterly superficial. There is, after all, more to having a child than adorable mini Dolce cardigans. “I want baby clothes, and a baby to put in them,” he says.

Goldie, upon deciding to become a surrogate, specifically requests a gay couple because “love is love,” as if making some type of redundant political statement.

With the preferred membership at the family planning organization to which David and Bryan belong they are allowed to pick a baby who a) is blonde, b) is skinny, and c) doesn’t cry…and looks like Gwyneth Paltrow, who appears in a cameo when David and Bryan are searching for the egg.

Justin Bartha’s David is likable enough. Just enough, in fact that you can’t imagine how he could ever love such an idiot like Princess Bryan, who thanks the baby on a recorded video for helping him fit into skinny jeans due to the stress of welcoming him into the family. He hadn’t eaten for three days! What an accomplishment. At least David is chosen to be bio-dad. I can’t imagine the horror of seeing his partner reproduce.

I’m surprised that in 2012, during a time when gay men and women are finally starting to be given respect, there is still inaccurate trash on television like this. I’m royally disappointed in Ryan Murphy, who directed the big screen adaptation of my favorite book, the memoir Running With Scissors. He also directed the film Eat, Pray, Love. Despite the fact that it wasn’t exactly praised by critics, I throughly enjoyed the film. He also doesn’t do half bad (I said half) with portraying gay men in a positive light on Glee.

If it weren’t for the wrong reasons, I’d almost thank Salt Lake City’s NBC affiliate for pulling this superficial, vomit inducing series. If this is The New Normal, I think I’ll just stay single.