Gossip Girl ‘New York, I Love You XOXO’ photo recap: End It Like Ehh… Erm

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye! Gossip Girl, once hailed as The Greatest Show Of Our Time, has come and gone and now we must bid it adieu. How can you solve a problem like Gossip Girl? Ahhh…

In this episode, Chuck and Blair finally get hitched (but don’t bang, I’m sorry for the false expectations I’ve caused), Nate and Sage pretend to be smart but don’t actually solve anything, no one mourns Bart’s second death, Dan is Gossip Girl, and Serena loves him for it. How can something that makes absolutely no sense — Dan being gossip girl — make 100% perfect sense? I don’t know. No time to think because the credits have already rolled and Taylor Momsen’s track is piercing through my soul.

My very soul!

If you don’t get to the end of this, just know that I thank you, I appreciate you, and I love you all. Until the next photo recap… if there ever will be one!

And now it’s time for what I’ve promised (and for some reason, people care). Who knew the series finale of Gossip Girl and this post would parallel so much. I am your Dan Humphrey, which is to say I am the worst and am a clinical sociopath and that this is so not a big deal. What in the world? (Can’t wait til people have a field day with that.) Anyway, after a year or so of people telling me to just reveal it already or I’ll regret keeping it in so long and those saying I should never reveal…

I ship(ped) Dan and Blair.

It’s the truth. And though I hope half of you didn’t just run away and never come back, I can understand why. People take their ships seriously, apparently. I even contemplated not “ruining” this post by talking about it. I’m sure that by now some are retroactively finding evidence of all the bad things I said about Chuck and Blair, or connecting something that’s a completely unrelated joke as a way to bash a ship. But the truth is that I don’t dislike Chuck and Blair in any way. Some people may not understand that or won’t believe me, but I can’t do more than just say it and hope you will. And now to answer some questions I’m sure I’ll get. I’ll try to be as pithy as possible.

In season 1, I rooted for Dan & Serena and Chuck & Blair, but that being said I was never a religious watcher. If I had found my true TV love Chuck (the show) earlier, I probably never would have seen an episode. I was a huge fan of the Dan and Blair friendship. Personally, it gave the show new life. I can however understand people not liking them romantically, which I didn’t either. When Dan and Blair kissed it seemed so out of the blue to me, as I was enjoying their slow burn. I didn’t think it would ever turn into that. I’m aware of what little sense it makes. And so I viewed it as such a dissonant image.

And yet it made so much sense, too. When the show returned and Blair had decided that she felt zero potential romance between them, something grew inside me after her reaction. I don’t why or what, but I didn’t agree with her. And I was mad that the show had done that just to take away the potential. I began finding little, tiny evidence(s) of why she was lying. And just like that, I started to become an actual shipper (it wouldn’t fully happen until fall) — which is to say, I lost all logic and/or reasoning, like any shipper – for Dair. When season 5 began, and I began doing recaps, I found Tumblr. And I would spend time in the #Dair tag. Yes, I became a 13-year-old girl. It was quite embarrassing. This had only happened to me once before (for Chuck and Sarah, the coincidence!).

There’s no denying that season 5 was a major s— show. If it weren’t for the fact that I was recapping them, I seriously most likely would have quit. I wasn’t even planning to watch weekly until the recaps took off (I was a week late when I began, but I watched all those episodes on the same day). And I won’t concede that the reason I like the back half of the season more than the first half is solely because of Dair. I mean, I think episode 5×10 is the best from the front half. But it wasn’t until 5×14 or 5×15 that the story actually started going anywhere. Louis was awful and a waste of time. And the same is true for season 6. It wasn’t until 6×06 or so until the story actually picked up. But, yeah, maybe my shipper half clouded my judgement.

If you want to ask if I’m mad that Dair didn’t end up together: I’m not. I never expected them to, except maybe when I was in a feels panic during mid season 5. Then again, I never could have expected Dan and Serena together after all of season 5… and season 6. But regardless, I don’t know when I knew Gossip Girl was The Chuck and Blair Show, but the season 2 finale where “Season Of Love” played in the background seems like a good way to mark a point in time when it was cemented. In a series where everyone is the worst, do they deserve each other? Maybe. Everyone deserves everyone on this show. Except maybe no one deserves Nate; that’s probably why he ended up alone. But he’s only the least worst because of his naiveté.

And that’s that. I won’t go into extreme detail about why I like one couple more than the other, because there really aren’t any reasons. Personally, it’s just chemistry to me. I see it, others see it, and others don’t. And that’s fine. Believe me, the last thing I want is to get into a war. That’s why I’m shutting off my phone and computer for 123891230 hours beginning NOW. The show’s over… and we’re all free!

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

This is also somewhat of an actual goodbye, because the series is over and a lot of people are going to leave for good, if not for what I just wrote then because they have no interest in anything else. I hope you enjoyed poking fun of this show. I came in at a golden age of recapping it, and I’m glad I did. Thanks for sticking around week to week and sharing laughs. And if you’re leaving and never coming back, I will never forget youuuuuu!!! I’ve made some great Internet friendships from sides of all different ship wars. And I hope it remains that way, because you guys are awesome! Thank you to everyone. Much love!