She Said: The Secret Circle 1.13 ‘Medallion’ review: Puff pastries tasted like Gold!

Last weeks episode of The Secret Circle proved to be uneventful, to me anyways, and at this point we, as the viewers are being left with more questions than answers.

The episode began with Dark Magic Barbie (Cassie), as usual. Where is this girl’s grandma again? I feel like in the TV world she’s been gone forever… no one finds that odd in the circle? Well, Cassie is greeted by not only Adam (surprise there, not) but a woman who claims to be the girl she saw in Jake’s mind 16 years ago. Creepy. When I saw this lady I wanted to trust her seeing as she was being so sketch as if someone were really out to get her… but it was just too convenient and less likely for a non-witch to risk their life for someone they don’t even know.  No matter whose offspring they are.

Dear Cassie, you are way too trusting…someone should teach you the dangers of strangers and/or tie you to a pole and burn you to death. Thanks.

The Dawn and Charles dynamic was boring until Dawn got stabbed by Lucy (the woman who was “helping” Cassie). I literally sat in my bed in front of my television screaming “Die bitch, die!”

Cue awkward moments with Ethan and Diana: Poor thing. The father of the guy you’ve been dating for nearly four years tells you his son belongs with some other girl… and then he’s asking you to plan a party for your ex. Not weird, at all. If I were Diana I would’ve told Ethan to shove it where the sun don’t shine. But, naturally Diana still has those lingering feelings for Adam (I don’t know why) and she plans Adam’s birthday party nevertheless.

Jake and Cassie are attempting to tap into the power of the Medallion that helped save Blackwell’s life 16 years ago. Raise your hand if you think activating a necklace once used by someone so evil is a good idea. Not me. I love how these kids just jump into doing things without fully knowing what the consequences are or what they are really used for. If I were a witch, I’d be a smart one.

Adam is still trying to tell Cassie what to do after he saw Jake and Cassie borderline humping in the basement of the abandoned house. That kid is super jealous. He even went as far as to steal Cassie’s medallion from her not so secret hiding place so she wouldn’t get even deeper in trouble with Jake the one man wrecking crew.

Oh, and praise baby Jesus! Melissa has a storyline. Her new infatuation with Devil’s Spirit is without a doubt going to lead her down a spiraling path, head first. And that’s just what we want seeing as Jessica Parker Kennedy has been getting the short end of the stick in terms of screen time. The new dynamic between Callum, the magical drug dealing hottie, and Melissa definitely peaked my curiosity.

Adam’s party is jam packed with people… I’m with Faye on this one: since when did Adam get so many friends besides the circle? The beauty of extras. Ethan gives a toast to his son, basically saying “Happy Birthday, I love you.” Wow, how deep. He couldn’t have formed a few more words to actually make a sentence? Ethan then proceeds to throw Diana under the bus and suggest that she say a few words. It just seemed like a super awkward moment.

During her speech we got a sense of how Diana and Adam came to be, she gave heartfelt words about Adam being her voice of reason and how she always looked to him to keep grounded. Could this be foreshadowing? Now that Adam isn’t in her corner anymore could Diana let go of her inhabitions and leave right and wrong at the door. Oh God, I hope so. I am so ready to see this girlscout let loose for once.

Dear Cassie, how does it feel to stand there and listen to everything Diana said about her and Adam? I hope you feel like a home-wrecker. Not really, but I hope she realizes the damage she’s done already.

Which brings me to my favorite scene of the night: Faye and Melissa outside of the boathouse talking about Devil’s Spirit. Melissa high on magical cocaine has to be the highlight of my night. Jessica Parker Kennedy’s delivery of those hilarious lines were nothing short of phenomenal. Pastries that taste like gold, and feeling shiny is Class A comedy right there. Speaking of comedy… you know I love Faye to pieces but who tries to snort magical cocaine outside where there’s a breeze!? Can you say stupid.

Speaking of drugs, Charles is determined to get that crystal back from Ethan, and he goes as far as to drop something in Ethan’s drink. When I saw Charles pop that roofie into his coffee I was like this is gonna get diiiirty. Yeah, not so much. Charles steals the crystal back and goes on to save stupid Dawn who bled out from Lucy McWorkingForTheWitchHunters.

The circle is convinced by Cassie that they need to activate the medallion to keep them safe. Stupid kids are stupid. Lucy is walking them through the ritual in the woods until the circle catches on that it feels like when Faye stole the circle’s powers at the Fire/Ice dance. Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Lucy is trying to suck all the power from the circle so the witch hunters can kill them easily. But Dark Magic Barbie isn’t having any of that. Cassie conveniently remembers the spell her father used to protect himself and goes completely psycho… borderline burning Lucy for her betrayal. This girl plays evil oh so well.

Cassie finally sides with Adam and tells Jake that she’s nothing like him and that she’s not going to let revenge consume her. I sort of, kind of don’t believe her. But I’ll try.

And cue wounded Jake calling up Faye to have a roll in the sack. Y U NO see he’s just using you Faye? Meanwhile Adam opens a cabinet in the boat house to find cookies pouring out (A classic move from ex-girlfriend Diana), and Lucy meets her undeniable fate at the hand of the head witch hunter from 16 years ago. Oh snap.

Episode Allstar: Melissa Glasser, for providing much needed laughage to an otherwise dreary episode. Kudos, Melissa… Kudos.

Next weeks preview: “Valentine,” who’s excited!?