We’ve all got our guilty pleasures. But guilty pleasures aren’t so terrible. For example, I will publicize that I’m a fan of Revenge until the cows come home (and thereafter, as well)! Then again, Revenge is a pretty good show regardless.

But there are a couple of shows that I have lied about or downplayed how much I’ve watched them in real life. Which shows do you watch but wish no soul would ever find out!?

Here are a few of mine. And yes, I understand how counterintuitive it is that I’m about to air my dirty laundry (or TV queue) on a website for anyone with a command of Google can find, but who cares?

Gossip Girl

Back when Gossip Girl first debuted: everyone was watching it — and if you weren’t watching it: you were lying, because you most definitely were. It was high school, what can I say? With its beautiful views of New York City, soapish/addictive stories, and use of sex and drugs loosely, how were you not watching?

Over the years, ratings have waned, and so has overall viewership within the then-high school crowd and thus my lying skills had to improve. You guys know I watch Gossip Girl since I do the recaps (actually this is the first season I’m actually watching week-by-week since the first!), but my inner circle does not. Once, I saw someone that resembled Penn Badgley in school and almost shouted out, “Hey! That guy kind of looks like that Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl!”

Instead, I said: “HEY! Uh… that guy… doesn’t he sort of, maybe resemble that guy from that show with the girls who gossip a lot?” Unfortunately, it only registered in my mind that I had begun talking after it was too late and was basically pointing to this fellow before I could take back my sentence at all. Oh, well.

Whitney

NBC’s Whitney quickly became the season’s most-hated show by critics and audiences alike (besides Work It). But I don’t care anymore, I’m shouting this one out loud, in fact I even wrote a post about this: Whitney is absolutely hilarious!

The show recently had an episode about masturbation that almost made me faint. There. I said it.

Of course, there are problems with the show (and there are episodes that are duds), but overall, I find myself laughing at Whitney much more than a regular episode of Community. I stress: saying I laugh at something doesn’t mean it’s better… just different.

iCarly

Okay, okay, okay. I haven’t watched a new episode of iCarly since the one after “iOMG” in which Freddie and Sam kissed — again! — and then decided to date. I’m kind of kicking myself that I don’t know what happened after that episode. I almost want to download the episodes and find out.

Now, I haven’t been watching iCarly since the beginning, but when Comcast finally added Nick HD (yes, I’m an HD whore… I don’t watch if it’s not HD!), I began to watch reruns… and then first-run episodes. Before I knew it, I was adding iCarly to my TV watch list, staking out new episodes.

And I’m ashamed to say that a show targeted to 12 year olds is something I actually care to find out when there are new episodes.

The Celebrity Apprentice

I try to tell myself that this show has value. “They’re playing for charity! Charity!!!” But the truth is I couldn’t care less about the charity. Whenever they show the terribly-scripted scene in which the celebrity provides a check to the head of their charity of choice, with the receiving person’s deadpanned “Oh… thanks…………” I wish they would leave that on the cutting room floor.

God, I’m a terrible person.

The truth is I watch for the fights. Who the hell doesn’t? All that bitchiness is enthralling… and enough for me. It’s probably why I haven’t watched any of the Housewives or any other reality show (well, Big Brother of course!).

Though, I do get really into it sometimes. For example, I’m still upset Joan Rivers won against Annie Duke. She ain’t do nothin’!

Ringer

How is it that TV’s worst and least-thought-out-show is the most addictive thing this season (for me)? It’s ludicrous! This show is just awful on paper. Just awful. But. I. Can’t. Stop.

And I’m not tuning in just to watch the train wreck happen. I’m tuning in because I’m invested. So very invested. Like, what exactly is Siobhan looking for? Did Juliet really get raped? Does the teacher have a twin of his own that raped her!? What about the baby!? And Henry loves Siobhan will she tell him everything and Gemma and Agent Eyelashes’ stupidty!?

But I’d never want anyone to actually know that.

Which shows do you watch that you hope no one ever finds out about? Yeah, I get it, why would you comment about that? Don’t use your social network login! If you must, sign in as a guest, use a fake name, I don’t care — I just want to know!