So, nothing too crazy happened on Suburgatory this week but it was great to have it back. Going too long without seeing Jeremy Sisto on the small screen (and I don’t mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in the way as in the screen that is in my home and isn’t actually small at all) isn’t good for the soul.

And so it begins…

We are reminded that Lisa Shay and Malik are in love. Mrs. Shay aka Ana Gasteyer stipulates to her daughter that she has to tell her everything because she’s spent her daughter’s whole life until now listening to all the boring details and now she better not start keeping it secret now that it’s finally getting good/juicy. Tessa gets stuck as the third wheel and Lisa Shea and Malik who: 1. Discuss their couple name – MaLisa (hilarious) and 2. Feed eachother ice cream.

Then Noah talks about his revived marriage. He uses the word “intercourse” like three times so I was cool with it. And it was hilarious because no one wants to hear about intercourse between a middle aged couple that’s currently experiencing some sort of sexual awakening unless it’s funny.

Dallas has decided to fill her day with exciting activities and drug herself into sleep at night in order to keep herself distracted from her finalized divorce (the papers of which she had laminated and ate her breakfast off of).

Then finally we get to my BFF Dalia. Every time Dalia speaks (or “ugh”s or rolls her eyes) an angel gets its wings. She is telling her therapist (played by James Lipton) that she’s jealous of the attention Yikault gets and blames Yikault for her parent’s divorce. FYI, Yikault is the family dog. But luckily she finds an excuse to talk about the “hangover monkey from the movie hangover”. I love when she brings that up.

George and Noah go out to find Noah a new mattress for him to intercourse his wife on (you might recognize their mattress salesman as Jonathan Lipnicki’s babysitter in Jerry Maguire or Dick in High Fidelity) and Dallas comes with them because she needs to be doing something/anything.  Her emotions finally catch up to her and she starts crying and then lays on the bed catatonically.

George sweet talks her into feeling better by sympathizing with the pains of divorce and telling her she doesn’t have time to be depressed as a single mom, she has to take care of Dalia.

Dalia has, in the mean time and with the help of Noah, acquired her own pet to shower her attention on (because Yikault was Dallas’)… and it’s not the hangover Monkey, it’s a Kangaroo from Kangaroo Jack, I mean it’s great that she makes a joke about storing her cell phone in the Kangaroo’s pouch, but it’d still be better if she had just gotten the Hangover Monkey. Alright? I SAID IT. And you know it’s true. And I don’t even like The Hangover.

Tessa ends up hanging out with Ryan Shay. Lisa catches them out together at dinner and tries to encourage Tessa that they’re still friends and nothing will change because Lisa and Malik are dating. Lisa can’t believe Tessa was desperate enough to hang out with Ryan because Lisa and Ryan hate each other and Ryan is bizarrely popular? I know it’s kind of my job to know these things but I feel like their relationship is constantly changing and I just can’t keep track.

Anyway, Tessa kind of likes Ryan, they have a good time on their dinner date, and then Ryan asks to touch her boob instead of writing her a thank you note for the good time he had at dinner. And she lets them. It was cute in one of those “aw so cute and awkward” ways but also kind of just creepy awkward? And scene.