Snooki & JWOWW this week picks up in the midst of Snooki’s Cancun breakdown. She is on the phone with her dad crying about her two best friends not supporting her in her pregnancy, but JWOWW points out that Nicole doesn’t want to do anything at all and is using her pregnancy as an excuse to be miserable. Jenny refuses to let Snooki be a Debbie Downer on her trip, and goes out anyway, promising that she will ‘deal with that sh*t when she gets home.’
The next morning, Jenny is on the phone with Roger, who apparently made plans with his friends on the night she was returning home, instead of coming over to see her. Jenny is VERY upset and screams at Roger, which is very uncomfortable for Nicole and the other girls. When the girls do get home, it is probably good that the boys weren’t there, because the girls are able to discuss the tension from their vacation and Snooki’s feelings about feeling left out. These two can’t stay angry with each other for long, and like any true besties, they just needed to talk it out.
Snooki calls Jionni to see what him and Roger are up to. She gets a voice mail, and according to the message the phone is shared by both Jionni AND Roger. Is that true? Do those two lovebirds live together too? Why can’t THEY have a show? Both Snooki and Jenni find the voice mail message to be offensive and start bitching about their men, before they realize the phone was still recording. Oops! Snooki calls Jionni to tell him not to listen to the message, and he tells her that he and Roger are going to some place called Hemingway’s, which makes both Snooki and JWOWW very upset. Apparently it is down the shore and there will be girls there. Shocking.
JWOWW mutters something about breaking up with Roger before she gives him a call herself. It starts off bad when he answers the phone with a ‘yo,’ which Jenny finds to be offensive. Jenny tries to speak calmly and explain her feelings to Roger, but he immediately goes on the offensive. He calls JWOWW insecure and tells her that she deserves to be with Tom, the guy that stole her stuff when they broke up and forced her to break into her own house to save her dogs during Jersey Shore a few seasons back. Jenny is rightfully upset and starts crying before hanging up on him. Luckily her bestie Snooki is there for her, and even though they just had a rocky vacation together she did her best to comfort Jenny.
The next morning, Snooki has Jenny touch her stomach, which is now hard like a pregnant stomach. Nicole says that now that it is starting to form, she is alright with people touching her stomach because people aren’t just ‘touching her fat’ now. Jenny looks up on the computer that at this stage the baby can make facial expressions (Snooki asks her what a grimace is, and JWOWW’s plastic surgery face had some major trouble illustrating) and it can see light (which Snooki assumes comes from the vagina hole, so she apologizes to her kid for having to see Jionni’s penis).
The girls head out and go to a cooking class, because Snooki needs to become more domestic now that she is going to be a wife and mother. They are making pasta (which does not, as Snooki believed, always come in a box), and it grosses both the girls out because the dough looks like an uncircumcised penis. To be fair, it kind of does. Well they are making ravioli, Snooki assures Jenny that when it comes to her relationship with Roger, Nicole will always be on her side, even if she is wrong. See? Even when these two squabble, they will always be best friends til the end.
The next day Snooki decides to call Jionni to find out what happened at the bar when he was out with Roger. Jionni assures her that there were no girls and no one hit on them. Now if Jionni was trying to avoid a fight, could he have been more suspicious? In my limited experience with the JShore nightlife, the chances of walking into bar that has NO girls in it are slim to none. And of course when Roger and Jionni walk in all the Seaside skanks are going to hit on the semi-famous dudes from Jersey Shore. Nicole and Jenny aren’t stupid and realize this, so they snoop on Twitter and find multiple pictures of the boys with slutty girls. In fact, one of the girls even said that Jionni told her she looked nice in her dress (which clearly means he was basically hitting on her and cheating on his pregnant fiancee). Of course Snooki calls him back and she pulls the ultimate adult guilt card by telling him she isn’t angry, she is just disappointed in him. Despite what Jionni then says and about 90% of the general public believes, maybe she really IS ready for this parenthood thing.
All in all, it was a pretty bad episode for the boys this week. My love for Jionni and Roger is well documented, but they were both acting like major jerks. Unfortunately it looks like next week things aren’t going to be getting any better, at least not for Roger and Jenny. Hopefully those two crazy kids can work it out. I’d hate to lose Roger’s presence on next season of Jersey Shore!
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I’m Sam, your reality TV expert. When it comes to television my motto is: the trashier, the better. If a show is winning Emmys and making critics swoon, it probably isn’t my style. I’ll take Kardashians and teen moms over great acting and writing any day of the week.