Okay, I actually use a lot of this review to talk about Bonnie and stuff. So, if you want to skip to the part where I mostly praise this episode, go to “SKIP TO HERE:”!

You guys, I’ve been so tired of bitching about The Vampire Diaries for the past three months. It’s been exhausting. Last week, I wrote that I might actually cry if I had to reiterate the same nonsense I’ve been saying since January. I wasn’t lying.

Okay, maybe I was. But I’m dead inside. The point being: there were no tears tonight. The Vampire Diaries returned today — and goodness, it’s been so long since I’ve watched an episode of this show where I felt like it was actually TVD.

There are, of course, still some setbacks (as there always will be) — mainly in the Bonnie arena. Once again, Bonnie is used to further the Original family plot. I mean, I know that everyone is sort of acting as an extension of the plot, but in most ways it helps them further a bit. Stefan has gone to his dark side and back, accepting his demons. Damon has begun to think of the consequences, even if just a little bit, when planning. Even Elena has slowly been transitioning from patsy to mini-badass. (Holy crap, did you see her with the crossbow? Me gusta.) Bonnie’s just been there to do spells and undo them. I suppose I should be happy that the writers at least considered giving her a scene in which we get to see her emote. She didn’t do it because Klaus asked her. She wasn’t trying to express herself to Elena to then just forgive her. It was just Bonnie. Alone. And it wasn’t offscreen. And even so, she’s been getting better treatment than the guys who are seriously offscreen — Tyler and Jeremy. Talk about getting the shaft.

I’ve been talking about Bonnie a lot lately. The reason being, well, complicated. I admit that before thinking about this show “critically,” just as a casual viewer, I wasn’t much of a fan of Bonnie. She always just seemed to rear her head to badmouth vampires and then disappear. And so when she’d show up, you’d go “Ugh, just… be a team player for like two damn seconds Bonnie!” But those were back in the days when I just watched for entertainment value. And when you begin to think about the show analytically, you start to realize that having Bonnie be nothing but this person who undoes plots cheapens everything. Yes, you don’t like Bonnie — and yes, her lack of characterization is cheapening the stories you do like. She’s too often used as just a thing. Just think about that. If the show had a, uh I don’t know, a rock of some sort. And for every plot, they just had a rock that could undo anything. You’d start to think, “This rock is so stupid. Can’t the writers think of anything better!? What’s the point of watching if this rock is just going to change the story for no reason all the darn time?” (Worst analogy ever, probably.)

You know? Like, it becomes deus ex machina — except it’s very expected… and predictable… and tiring. Where’s the payoff in having your rock introduced only to move other plots? There needs to be characterization, there needs to be backstory (hell, there needs to be story), or else you’re left with this hollow plot device that very desperately reverses plots because they can’t think of anything better.

More so, it’s about the fact that everyone lives in moral ambiguity on this show. Caroline mentioned this specifically on tonight’s episode. She tells Alaric that she’s no better than him because she has blood on her hands as well. For a long time, Bonnie could have been that voice that makes us second guess the morals of this show — but having her only come in to bitch about it for two seconds an episode and then change a plot line makes the audience automatically side with the vampires. This show, though targeted for a CW audience, could be so much more with this. It’s something I’ve also been mentioning in my reviews: what is the actual resolution to vampires reaching a middleground? Should we be rooting for that? Is Elena supposed to fall in love with vampires who use humans as their… food? I mean, think about it. This struggle of humanity could be a much more grandiose uncertainty with a stronger voice from the polar side. Goodness, the witches balancing the supernatural power (from the other side, no less!) could be one helluva story. But instead, it’s muted offscreen.

And wow, now I’ve spent too much of this review talking about Bonnie and the witches. So, moving on to why this was enjoyable…

SKIP TO HERE: Mostly, it moved along. And it thrilled me. And it was shocking. And it made sense, for the most part. And it wasn’t fixated on love interests, for the most part. We’ve watched as the Originals have become mostly irrelevant… and in this episode, we didn’t really get much of a reminder of why they were an immediate threat (I mean, it ended with Klaus being all “Yeah, ‘kay, I’m gonna go now…”), but we got something else: actual tension. I suspected that Sage was introduced to give the gang conflict — but instead, the conflict was much, much, much better. If they kill an Original — twist!!! — the entire bloodline of vampires turned from that Original will die as well. That’s a much better reason to not kill them — I mean, that puts tons of our characters in danger. And the best part is that we don’t know which one of them can’t die for sure. Though, I also suspect it can go two ways: (A) Rock Bonnie will do a spell; or (B) We’ll be getting much more Originals for the rest of the series. I think I’d be happier seeing Bonnie be used as a plot device again and killing this Original story by season’s end. We need to move on. Vampires vs Witches — season 4. Do it. (I mean, even if it’s a resolution that involves in the Originals not dying, it’s okay. Rebekah has begun thinking about the definition of family, and so on.)

Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena have yet another scene and my critical mind is all “Oh, goodness, not again!!!” but my shipper heart is all “Oh, goodness, not again!!!” except in the latter one, I’m crying. Like, internally, because it breaks my heart. Thinking of it objectively, Stefan and Elena did need to confront Elena’s feelings for Damon in some capacity. But at this point, I don’t know why they continuously need to express their love for each other. Everyone knows they love each other, but I’ve had trouble with Elena doing a 180 since 3×09 where she decided to let Stefan go. Unfortunately, the plot can’t let them go, either. Every time Stefan grows a bit, it has to be some sort of reflection for his internal struggle to be what Elena needs or wants in some way. (The same, for the most part, happens with Damon.) At this point, let’s get Stefan and Caroline to be friends again so that he may air his grievances to someone who’s not Elena and therefore can develop without it tying into the triangle just for the sake of it. The Stefan who ripped a girl’s head off and then professed how sorry he was — let’s see that. For some reason, I feel like if he did that in present day, somehow Elena would walk in on him, and it would end in a conversation where he goes “I’m sorry, I’m too dangerous to be with you right now.” What? How’s about he’s too dangerous to just be at this moment?

Did I just get mad at a hypothetical situation?

Continuing, Elena keeps saying she doesn’t know how she feels about Damon… and I think the same. I just don’t thinks she loves him… though, I suppose doing the 180 after she kisses Damon could scream “denial!” but unfortunately the kiss didn’t amp up the triangle as I thought it would. Gossip Girl did a year in denial story and it was nothing but aggravating. It’s true that stories need time to simmer, but they don’t need time to stay stagnant. Let’s get a move on, here.

But, okay, let’s just forget about it. Tonight’s episode was a dang good ride. It was fun. It was exciting! And the pacing was finally something that resembled a TVD episode. Thank you, writers. If the last few episodes of this season are a reflection of tonight’s episode, I can only imagine how much greatness there is to come. And now that Crazy Ric has a stake of his own: the s—- is gon’ hit the fan. Fun times. Suspenseful times. Unpredictable times.

Goodness, I’ve missed you.

Listen to our new Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle podcast, Mystic Harbor!