1. Diana Payne is Chuck’s mom!

Monika | I actually didn’t see that coming, though in hindsight it makes perfect sense. My favorite moment of the episode was easily Chuck’s outburst at Diana. Scratch that, it was actually my favorite moment of this entire godforsaken season. Is it just me or did even Ed Westwick seem thrilled to deliver a line that wasn’t begging Blair to stay with him or a throaty command to his PI? I also think Diana is basically the best character to have chosen to be Chuck’s mom. She’s interesting and funny (though that might be mostly due to your awesome recapping abilities, Michael) enough that I don’t mind the writers giving her a storyline. She’s one of the few guest stars that actually has a personality.

Elodie | Well duh! Why else would she be sleeping with Nate? Why else would she be British? Why else would she hang around Chuck’s apartment in her lingerie? Why else would there be that unexplained picture of her and Bart Bass?

Yeah, pretty much saw this coming from the moment she stole the picture and was convinced when we found out that someone gave Chuck the transfusion. I think this may be my favorite Gossip Girl storyline to ever unfold, just because CHUCK’S MOM HAS BEEN SLEEPING WITH HER SON’S BROMANCE BUDDY. That is fucking weird, but also hilarious.

Samantha |  Everyone and their mother saw this coming, so it wasn’t really shocking, but Ed’s acting in reaction to the news was stellar, and really made the whole ridiculous plot line worth it.

Michael | Obvious storyline is obvious. And if they say in the next episode that she isn’t, I will only forgive this if it’s because she’s Bart Bass. Otherwise, let it go, GG.

2. How is Serena doing as Gossip Girl?

Monika | Serena is confusing me. She’s obvs being a completely hypocritical bitch to Lola, both in this episode and the last one. However, I feel like her motivations are kind of murky to me. That half-assed explanation she gave Lola at the end of the the episode felt too vague and squeezed in half-heartedly. This Serena as GG storyline would actually be a great way to rekindle the Blair/Serena friendship. Blair could find out and then we could have a proper scene with Serena explaining her thought process behind these stupid decisions, which would finally bring some more depth back to her character and to her friendship with her BFF.

Elodie | Serena is about as witty as the real Gossip Girl. Who reads this site? Also isn’t it great that the real Gossip Girl kept her identity hidden for, what 7 years? Serena failed after two(?) weeks. On that count she is pretty shitty.

Samantha | I LOVE bitchy Serena. I love her so hard. She is still kind of an awful, transparent Gossip Girl, but I love how she is just stabbing at everyone. Love it.

Michael | I thought that in the last episode, she was actually quite good. But this episode was laughable. You didn’t think that maybe Lola would suspect you after that? You leave your phone unattended? You have an app for that!? Goodness. At least we actually got some insight into why Serena is doing this rather than just ’cause. I’m glad the writers decided to do that.

3. Lola is on a mission — but then decides to quit the UES…

Monika | Lola fails at nailing Serena as GG as much as Serena fails at actually being GG. I’m glad she’s quitting. I liked Ivy Dickens as Charlie Rhodes wayyyy better than Lola as Charlie Rhodes. Unfortunately, we still haven’t seen the William/Carol/Lola storyline be resolved so we know Lola’s going to end up being dragged back to the UES.

Elodie | Lola? Oh the “it girl” – um… Yeah I guess that was interesting? You know what’s funny? Her dad is also Serena’s dad, whose mom is Chuck’s adopted mom, which means Nate not only unknowingly slept with Chuck’s mom, but also with his half-adopted sister.

Samantha | Eh, Lola, get off my screen. You bore me to tears.

Michael | For the most part, this is probably the most interesting Lola has ever been. But she was right, and I didn’t mind her wanting to unveil the person who badmouthed her. Other than that, she probably should have stopped short of Diana revealing she’s Chuck’s mum.

4. Rufus and Lily (and Ivy).

Monika | I was really surprised that Lily was willing to sell the apartment. That Prada sign is iconic for the show. I was actually touched by her commitment to making the relationship work. With the whole Ivy situation, I respect Rufus for doing what he felt was right but I also think he was a dumbass to tell that waiter to keep the change (what was that, a twenty?!) after his credit card got declined. This is how people end up broke, Rufus.

Elodie | Are they still on this show?

Samantha |  I think Lily is finally becoming the WASP Cece always wanted her to be, and Rufus regained a bit of his manhood while in Brooklyn and he doesn’t want to give it up. It was cute how he thought he could still spend her money though. Sigh, all these housewives are the same…

Michael | I’m so glad that they actually have a storyline. And to be honest, it’s much better than “Oh she doesn’t like Brooklyn!” This is about something we’ve been joking around with for a while now — that Rufus is, like, a kept man. Ha! But, no, seriously, it’s good…for now. Even if I’m mostly annoyed that Ivy is offscreen.

5. Dan and Blair continue to grow as a romantic couple.

Monika | OH MY GOD. Dan and Blair have just earned the “Most Annoying Couple” award in the history of this show just for this episode. I can proudly say that I understood about zero of the references they made. All I could think of was the recap from last week (“We can be pretentious ERRYWHERE”). I spent about half the time rolling my eyes and the other half gagging in disgust. The only couple more annoying than them was the Brangelina of the five Burroughs they ran into at the cafe whose names I can’t remember. So much bad acting and so much pretentiousness.

Elodie | They grew as a couple? I think we were in pretty much the same place at the end of the episode as we were at the beginning and quite frankly it was quite a boring place. I like Dan and Blair when they are being argue-flirty, together as a couple? Not so much.

Samantha | Dan and Blair are basically a 80 year old married couple at this point. What 21 year olds, who have been dating for all of 3 weeks, spend their first full night together discussing artists? Also, they could not be more pretentious if they tried. I wouldn’t mind if they too got off of my tv screen. A show about Bitch!Lily, Bitch!Serena, Chuck, and Nate would be enough for me (and, of course, Ivy, Georgina, Jack, and all the other minor characters who make this show wonderful).

Michael | I’m with you guys; I had no idea what they were saying half the time. I think I need to become more worldly. Also, for the most part, I think this kind of storyline was needed for the people that are still questioning how they can be a couple with the “class issues.” So it is what it is. And lastly, the writers just needed a party for the [expletive] to go down.

6. Any other thoughts?

Monika | There is a huge part of me that wishes this show could be not GG-ish for just a moment and let Nate rattle off “your mom” jokes at Chuck in the next episode. That would just be hilarious.

Elodie | Far too many people are related to each other on this show.

Samantha | When is Nate going to get that thing on his lip treated? When is Jack going to come back? What is Diana’s real secret? It’s that she is Bart, right. At this point, anything else would just be disappointing.

Michael | Oh, my goodness. Elodie. I had not realized just how related everyone in this group is. Ew. Also, somehow these last couple of episodes have been feeling a bit more Gossip Girl-like than the rest of this season, but mostly with Rufus and Lily’s story.

7. What grade would you give this episode?

Monika | I would give this episode a C- due to Dair being completely unbearable. Actually, I’m gonna bump that up to a C for Chuck’s angry rant.

Elodie | For the moment that Chuck launches a tirade against Diana, an A! For the rest of the episode a B-.

Samantha | Eh, B+, but only because of Ed’s acting and Bitch!Serena.

Michael | I’d give this a B-, myself. It wasn’t quite as good as last week’s when I re-watched. Last week’s episode was much better, to be honest.