UPDATE: Haha, okay, you guys. I wrote this at about 2am and spent a short time. These are just observations. And they’re here to humor you! I liked these four episodes. I mention that below. These are just three or so observations I made. My humor is hard to explain.

Okay, the first night of Buffy Rewatch just ended (we trended worldwide!!!!), but I already have some thoughts. Now, this is the first time I’ve ever watched Buffy. Truth be told, I’m not exactly seeing what made Buffy the huge hit it has become. Yet. Don’t kill me, fandom. Then again, it’s only the first four episodes and everyone has told me to wait until season 2. So, anyway, here are my quick and snappy judgments on the first four episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Well, for one: Buffy, you know, the vampire slayer, spends a lot of time slaying non vampires. Okay, first, you’ve got the Bug Lady thing.

And the entire episode is focused on the Bug Lady. There are, like, zero vampires. I mean, there are three or so, but Buffy kicks their ass in about 30 seconds. And the episode prior to this one was about witches. That’s half of the first four episodes of a show with the word “vampire” in it, that doesn’t directly deal with vampires.

Speaking of kicking asses, I love how ’90s fight scenes included choreography where you didn’t exactly see the person kicking the other person’s ass.

Or like in the witch episode, where we seriously didn’t even see Buffy actually kick anyone.

So, yeah. Those are just a couple of things. Another thing I noticed is that parents in the Buffy world are, in a word or two, utter crap. They’re not winning any awards any time soon. Unless it’s the Razzies. Buffy’s mom, Joyce, is like a cross between Mrs. Archibald from Gossip Girl (in that she constantly looks dumbfounded) and a urinal (in that she just doesn’t give a s—).

Oh, and also, Joyce thinks her daughter is the devil or something. It’s like every time she talks to her she has to tiptoe around everything because she thinks her daughter is Carrie. Buffy did burn down a gymnasium. So, I’m kind of on Team Joyce on this one, but it’s like she’s trapped with a stranger in her own home.

And then the one time she actually acts like a parent, she completely effs it up.

And finally, I love how everyone just knows that Buffy is a vampire slayer and/or has connections with creepy supernatural stuff and no one cares.

Even when she helps that girl in “Witch,” the girl is just dandy that her mom died and giggling about her murder like it’s all good with Buffy, whom she doesn’t question at all.

It’s almost like, why not tell your mom, Buffy? Maybe then she won’t think you’re Lucifer. Anyway, that’s what I can think of for now. Of course, I have thoughts about the supporting cast and whatnot. But it’s about two hours or so since the first rewatch ended and I’m not exactly in the mind to think critically or anything. Overall, I had a great and fun time watching Buffy for the first time. And I can’t wait to watch the next three episodes, even though everyone says to skip them. A lot of people said “Teacher’s Pet” is the worst thing ever and I found it to be kind of entertaining. Maybe it was the community that helped.

Until Monday!

Michael loves TV. You can find him at home, where he spends all of his time watching TV with his best friends couch and cable access.