Gossip Girl roundtable: 6×01 ‘Gone Maybe Gone’

The final season of Gossip Girl has finally commenced. It was an hour that included schemes, lies, and backstabbing — so, you know, a pretty traditional hour of the UES soap. But was it an improvement of seasons past or was it just the same, rehashed? Here’s what we thought of the premiere:

1. What did you think of the premiere?

Samantha | I thought it was so-so. Pretty predictable, but much better than the majority of season 5.

Aditi | I think it was a solid premiere. It followed a nice straight line and acting was great as always, so I will give it a 7/10.

Michael | I thought it was just okay as well, but somewhere in the last ten minutes I was actually really feeling it and kind of got excited. I think it was around the time when Ivy tried to seduce Rufus. Well, succeeded in seducing Rufus.

2. Let’s talk about Rufus and Ivy hooking up!

Samantha | Can we talk about Ivy’s contortion skills under that afghan?  What was going on with her legs there? It was fascinating!  Anyway, I’m totally team Rivy.  If I can’t have Vufus, Rivy is the next best thing.

Aditi | Barf? Like, yes, Rufus is a hot dad, but him hooking up with his son’s ex ONS is just pure gross. Also, remember Dan’s disturbed face when he saw them together? Yeah, that was me the entire time they were in scenes together. Sleaaaaazy.

Michael | I mean, Dan and Ivy kissed for like fifteen seconds. He probably doesn’t even know about that. So obviously, the most important part about this is their sexual position because HOW was that even possible? But also, what is the game that Ivy’s playing here? I’m very intrigued by it. I’m guessing she somehow wants to destroy Lily for awarding her $1 million. (Ugh, but Ivy is so perfect regardless.)

3. Team Sabrina or Team Friends?

Samantha | Team Friends! Sabrina is just acting out her daddy issues (again). She will come around.

Aditi | Team Sabrina. Poor S has dealt with enough crap over the last year that she deserves this little break from reality. Plus, what would summer be if Serena isn’t off pretending to be someone else?

Michael | Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but… Team Sabrina. I know that Serena was acting like a total ridiculous person last season, but when she said to Nate and Chuck, “You couldn’t even send a text?” It was like, seriously could you not even send a 160-character message to one of your best friends? Though her mom did and she didn’t respond, so… Oh and Lily, by the way, when did she become the world’s worst mom again?

4. Chair: In favor of the pact or “just get it on already!?”

Samantha | Ugh, the pact makes NO SENSE! I know that is kind of this show’s “thing” lately, but come on. All that stuff about not wanting to blame her and being a man and blah blah blah. What was he even saying?? Why can’t they just be naked in the limo all season long?

Aditi | In favour of. I think they’ve finally reached a place where we all know they’re going to end up together, so I’m determined to enjoy the ride. Plus, that diamond ring gooooorgeous!

Michael | Preach, Samantha! What is this EVEN? Of all the rehashed plots on Gossip Girl over the years, this is one of the most tiring ones.

5. What is Bart’s big secret?

Samantha | He is actually dead and this person is just Cece with some surgery. Of course.

Aditi | Diana Payne is his twin sister. … I kid. I have no idea. This whole storyline is so random.

Michael | You’re both wrong. He’s obviously Diana Payne (yes, even though he was standing right next to her, I hold on to this). To be honest with you, I have to rewatch to understand who this new lady was and see the tone of the scene as to why he’d want to pay her off, but I really hope he’s Gossip Girl because why not.

6. Anything else I forgot?

Samantha | Was anyone else disturbed by the poor excuses for “Europe”? Remember when this show actually got to film in Paris? Sigh…those were the days.

Aditi | Nate’s new girlfriend looks boring. Can we please talk about Dan and Georgina? Those two hit it out of the park this episode. Besides the whole “OMG do that again” scene, I enjoyed Dan/Georgina interactions the most. Actually, all Georgina interactions. I love her. So glad she’s sticking around the rest of the season!

Michael | I actually was surprised at how much Georgina was NOT grating this episode. She’s always been a character that was better in small doses to me, and I liked her this episode too. Samantha, I agree, why were they in Europe for something they could have done in New York? Nate’s girlfriend plot is SOOOO original, guys, what is everyone talking about? Oh, but what IS it that he has on Gossip Girl? He sent her a video of her hands. I don’t understand it. But I think it’s great that Nate blackmailed someone because he’s smart now. And finally, I kind of felt that the whole two guys marrying thing had no payoff whatsoever. It was absolutely trite. I thought an even BIGGER bomb was going to land, like Serena’s not getting married BUT she’s pregnant! or…she wrote a tell-all too! or…something!

7. What grade would you give this episode?

Samantha | B- Better than the train wreck of last season, but definitely not completely amazing.

Aditi | 7/10 for effort, good acting, and actually trying to stay on task.

Michael | I give this one a solid B. It wasn’t BAD. But we obviously need to give the show at least one transitional episode to get better after last year. Yeesh! So, I think we should be lenient in that way. Also, the dialogue was really, really on point. Kudos there!

The grade above is an average of all grades given by roundtable participants.