New PictureAfter the longest break in the history of television (not really, but it sure felt like it!), our favorite documentarians, Nev and Max, are back with Catfish: The TV Show! The show starts off with a bang as we meet Cassie, who needs help meeting her rapper fiancé, Steve.  That’s right, this girl got engaged to a boy she never met that she only talks to on the internet.  LOL.  Nev, ever the optimist, tries to rationalize that people get married in Vegas all the time after only 24 hours and “at least she has been talking to this guy for a while”. LOLOLOLOLOL. Oh Nev, never lose that child-like innocence.

Cassie is very pretty but she has to be an idiot to believe that this guy is real.  Well, it’s either that or this whole thing was a staged and she was in on it the whole time, but I absolutely refuse to believe that.  Catfish is REAL y’all! Either way, the poor girl went through some real ish after her dad was killed by potential kidnappers in Haiti.  ‘Meeting’ her online lover helped pull her out of the hole and get her life back on track, so hopefully he hasn’t just been jerking her around.

Nev and Max set off on their detective work and they quickly realize that this kid is NOT a professional rapper.  I mean, just listening to his songs for 5 seconds I could tell that no one would sign that boy to any sort of record deal. Nev does an image search for the pictures ‘Steve’ has sent to Cassie and, of course, they are photos of a professional model.  So ‘Steve’ isn’t the super hottie rap super star Cassie thought he was.  That doesn’t mean the wedding necessarily has to be off though!  They have a connection! They’ve had phone sex! Love can still find a way!

When Nev and Max break the news to Cassie she luckily has her best friend there for support.  Like any normal human, Cassie is embarrassed that she was such a fool, but Nev and Max assure her they will still try to find out who this guy really is.  They discover that the person who actually made ‘Steve’s’ rap song was a skinny hipster white kid named Tony, who turns out to be her best friend’s cousin. Obviously Cassie feels like even more of an idiot after finding this out and she has a good cry that can only be stopped by the comfort of Nev’s arms.  Snuggling on Nev’s carpet chest could solve all the world’s problems.

As soon as the tears are dried, Cassie and the boys head straight to the bestie’s house to confront this cousin. Cassie is about to beat a bitch down and when her bestie admits to actually making up Steve herself and as soon as she hears this, Cassie is OUT. She is pissed, obviously. If my best friend told me she made up a boyfriend for me and told her greasy looking cousin to have phone sex with me I would want to muff punt someone too.

Gladys (the bestie) claims she did it to help Cassie, and for the first time ever we see Nev completely blown away and speechless.  Even he can’t believe a supposed ‘best friend’ would let this carry on for so long.  Cassie also gets to confront the greasy cousin, who actually admits that the conversations with her felt real to him.  Does hipster cousin have a crush? Could these two crazy kids work it out? WHAT IF THEY FELL IN LOVE!?!?!?! OMG you guys, I’m shipping it.

Gladys is still pretty beaten up about it the next day, but she is sticking to her story that she did it out of love.  The boys leave her alone in a room with Cassie and the two (former?) besties eventually come to an understanding.  Cassie admits that she is a better person than she was before the whole Steve thing, and she doesn’t hate Gladys for what she did.  In the three month check up, the girls are still friends, but they aren’t as close as they once were (although they are making progress).  Sadly, we don’t get to see how the greasy cousin is doing, but I still have hope that at the end of the season we will find out that Cassie gave him a shot and they are madly in love! Make it happen, Nev!