New Picture (3)Did you think I forgot about Catfish, guys?! Of course not! This week we meet Michael who is in love with a girl named Kristen who only lives one short hour away from where he does in Michigan, yet for some reason they have never met! Michael thinks it is because she only fairly recently lost an eye in a car accident, but Mike wants to prove to her that won’t affect how he feels.  Clearly this is one of the more farfetched stories we’ve heard from a catfish…..but could it possibly be true?

When they arrive in Michigan, Nev and Max meet Michael, who seems to have his stuff together and even has his own house! Yet somehow he has let this girl control his personal life and has gone so far as to break up with legit, IRL girlfriends for Kristen, who refuses to meet him and who may or may not be lying about her glass eye according to Nev’s astute detective skills.

Nev and Max head back to their hotel room to start their detective work.  They call the beauty school Kristen supposedly attends, but no Kristen by her last name attends the school (and apparently no girl with a glass eye). But after some snooping, Nev and Max find her REAL last name and call the school again and find that there IS a Kristen there under the real last name.  Max thinks the detective work is over, but they still don’t know if she is really the girl in the pictures that have been sent to Michael and they can’t find any images on the web to help them figure it out.

Nev and Max meet up with Michael and some buddies who have varying amounts of knowledge about the whole Kristen relationship.  Michael and his friends seem to have a few wannabe mafia moments (“It’s my business.  If I want to make it your business, I’ll make it your business”, etc.), but I’ve lived in Michigan and these kids are in farm country. There is no mafia.  So their whole attitude just makes me LOL the whole time. Country boys trying to play tough is just a never ending bundle of hilariousness.

Anyway, Nev and Max tell Michael what they found out and even though the girl was only lying about her last name (so basically, nothing), Mike is PISSED and he doesn’t even want to continue trying to find her.  Nev talks him out of that crazy idea, of course (they didn’t go all the way to the hicks of Michigan for nothing), but Michael is still very bitter.  Even if Kristen turns out to be the real deal, she doesn’t need this tough guy poser loose cannon boy. Stay on your farm, girl! You’re safe there!

Since Nev and Max realize that Michael is ‘intense’ (read: scary and angry), they decide that it is essential that they find out if Kristen is the girl in the pictures.  So they head on down to the Michigan historical society to find some old high school yearbooks.  They find Kristen’s photo in one of the books and although there is some debate, it doesn’t look like she is the same girl.  Mike looks like he is about to murder someone and I hope Nev and Max can keep him under control.  They call Kristen and after some persuading from Michael, she agrees to meet in person and since she lives so close, they can just hop in the car and head on over!

Nev knocks on the door and SURPRISE it’s not the girl in the picture! But everything else was the truth.  She even has a fake eye like she said! Mike, as expected, is pissed, but Kristen explains that she was in a rough place after the car accident and she explains that Mike helped get her through it and it makes Mike feel a lot better. He even manages to forgive her, although he doesn’t seem to have any intention of keeping in contact with her after the meeting. He goes so far as to tell Nev that he doesn’t want to go on any follow up trips to talk to her and he immediately deletes her from his phone.  I for one never delete anyone from my phone so that I can instantly know who is contacting me and immediately know when not to respond.  Come on, Mike, that’s like single girl 101.

Nev and Max go back the next day to talk to Kristen. The mostly discuss her accident and her eye. In what seems like a sort of insensitive move, they ask her to take her fake eye out for them, which she does. I’m sure she appreciated that the producers avoided showing her face while it was out, but it still seemed like a rare over-step by Nev and his crew. Nev and Max share all the info they learned with Michael and his friends and Mike tries to play tough like he just doesn’t care like the tough guy he wants to be, but we learn in the check-up that he contacted Kristen again just 2 weeks later and they are still talking.

It’s nice that they are still talking, but for the first time I’m actually kind of glad the couple didn’t work out. Mike’s fuse is too short and I was relieved to hear that Kristen had a boyfriend and was opening a salon with her family in Florida.  Good for you, girl! Get that life together! It seems like deep down Mike is a big softie, but the tough guy exterior he tries to give off is just plain off putting.  Sorry Michael, but Kristen can do better.

Samantha

I’m Sam, your reality TV expert. When it comes to television my motto is: the trashier, the better. If a show is winning Emmys and making critics swoon, it probably isn’t my style. I’ll take Kardashians and teen moms over great acting and writing any day of the week.