Last night, the most important hour of television finally aired — Miley: The Movement. That’s right, guys, the only relevant singer right now poured it all. OK, maybe not all. But she basically recounted the timeline between the release of “We Can’t Stop” and a couple of days after the notorious VMA show.

And you know what we learned? We learned that Miley is basically just trolling all of us. She specifically was all, “That was a strategic hot mess.” And I believe her; I’ve longed believed that. Miley Cyrus is just trying to make you talk about her. I wish she’d go a step further and try to critique how we care too much about celebrity vapidity (though she does touch upon it in her Rolling Stone cover story), but I’ll take it. I mean, have you listened to Bangerz? It’s nothing like you think it would be.

Anyway, if you somehow missed it (but I don’t know why you would, it’s the most important thing that happened all of this week), then here’s the gist:

NoWhiteNoise Team

Posts with the byline as “NoWhiteNoise Team” are articles written in collaboration by the entire staff here at NoWhiteNoise.