Photo Recaps

Posted 2/13/14 at 5:27 pm ET

Reign ‘Inquisition’ photo recap: All the Queen’s Men

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I totally meant to recap the episode of Reign that comes before this episode. I even watched it, too! I don’t know where the time went. I used to be much better about time. But since there’s no new episode of Reign this week, I decided that I would have to recap the latest episode. Plus, it’s a celebration.

Didn’t you hear? Reign was renewed for season two! I’ve only watched three episodes, but even I know that obviously the CW execs were scared that Catherine might poison them.

So, anyway, sorry about no recap last time. You didn’t miss much. Basically, I was going to make Paganism a euphemism for something else and a shot of Mary and Son #1 kissing with the caption: “We need mops.” High-brow-type humor, you know. But in case you didn’t watch the previous episode, what happened was that Son #1 had a cousin who had a baby and now he and Mary have to hide him. In this episode, they check in on the lady who they have taking care of the baby. And this lady just loves this job.
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Posted 1/28/14 at 10:27 pm ET

Reign ‘For King and Country’ recap: Mary, marry, and murder!

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I’ve watched only about five minutes of Reign in total, so I’m going to be honest with you: I have no idea what is happening. Don’t expect me to have an accurate recap of what’s going down. I also have no conception of history, but maybe that’s a good thing when it comes to this show. People have been telling me to watch The CW’s latest hit. I knew as soon as my 25-year-old male cousin told me he was an avid watcher of Reign that I at least owed it to myself to tune it.

The previously on section tells us a lot of stuff happened, but mostly that Mary was going to marry some guy, but then ditched him last minute. So she runs away with her going-to-be-husband’s brother, except that they’re being followed by some goons and are met by a cliff, which is a dead end. Or is it?

That’s when we cut to this guy’s parental units being mad that this happened because how dare this girl leave their son before marrying him?

Oh, man, and this lady — this lady. She is insane. She is also hilarious. We’ll get into that in a little bit.
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Posted 10/3/13 at 7:18 pm ET

Miley: The Movement mini photo recap: We got trolled

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Last night, the most important hour of television finally aired — Miley: The Movement. That’s right, guys, the only relevant singer right now poured it all. OK, maybe not all. But she basically recounted the timeline between the release of “We Can’t Stop” and a couple of days after the notorious VMA show.

And you know what we learned? We learned that Miley is basically just trolling all of us. She specifically was all, “That was a strategic hot mess.” And I believe her; I’ve longed believed that. Miley Cyrus is just trying to make you talk about her. I wish she’d go a step further and try to critique how we care too much about celebrity vapidity (though she does touch upon it in her Rolling Stone cover story), but I’ll take it. I mean, have you listened to Bangerz? It’s nothing like you think it would be.

Anyway, if you somehow missed it (but I don’t know why you would, it’s the most important thing that happened all of this week), then here’s the gist:
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Posted 7/2/13 at 2:44 pm ET

Gossip Girl ‘All About My Brother’ photo recap: Diary of a Tired Blog Dan

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I decided to surprise everyone with a quick vintage photo recap of cap-worthy episode 1×16 “All About My Brother” — except a quarter way in, I realized that neither Chuck nor Nate were in the episode … which is just sad. I wanted some Natefused and Rihanna lyrics in here, but it didn’t happen. However, I chose it because I remembered it had one of the most complicated scenes ever, given that (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE SERIES FINALE OR BEEN ON THE INTERNET AT ALL) Dan is Gossip Girl.

Dan talks to Jenny about a blast he sent that she told him to send, given the series finale. What? IT HAD TO BE RECAPPED. So here we are.

Also, thanks to HomeoftheNutty.com for the screencaps!
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Posted 4/5/13 at 5:02 pm ET

The Vampire Diaries ‘American Gothic’ photo recap: Cure bottle episode

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Hey, guys. I was sick over the last week, so that’s why this is so late… and why there wasn’t a review. Overall, I thought this episode was okay. I still don’t understand the whole slaughter one episode, let’s not discuss it at all the next. It seems like a huge deal that the final thing Silas kind of needed to pull off his two universes portal thing just happened and no one wants to even discuss it, but whatever.

Regardless, here’s the photo recap for The Vampire Diaries ”American Gothic.”
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Posted 3/27/13 at 6:46 pm ET

The Vampire Diaries ‘Because the Night’ photo recap: Beks and the City

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Hey, it’s late! But isn’t it always? In last week’s episode of The Vampire Diaries, we found out that Elena is TOTALLY a Carrie! Damon is so obviously a Charlotte, and…

No, I don’t know, they were just in New York a lot. And also Bonnie caused the apocalypse and then was like, “All right, cool.” It was a pretty straightforward episode of the series. Enjoy the recap!
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Posted 3/18/13 at 8:55 pm ET

The Vampire Diaries ‘Bring It On’ photo recap: I don curr, I love it

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Hey guys! It’s time for another Vampire Diaries photo recap for season 4 episode 16 “Bring It On!” I told you I would make it a thing in March. Well here it is: Elena says she doesn’t care a lot; Klaus and Hayley have sex because of reasons; and no one mentions that Bonnie is going to slaughter twelve people. Just a typical day in Mystic Falls…
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Posted 2/18/13 at 10:24 am ET

The Lying Game ‘Catch Her In the Lie’ photo recap

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The Lying Game ‘Catch Her in the Lie’ photo recap. Laurel reacts to Emma’s revelation. Team Emma tries to trap Rebecca. Alec makes a move on Kristen. Ted may have murdered Derek.
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Posted 2/11/13 at 1:18 pm ET

The Vampire Diaries ‘Into the Wild’ photo recap: Eternal reward

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I’m sorry to everyone who hates me, but here goes a Vampire Diaries season 4 episode 13 “Into the Wild” photo recap for those that kept asking. I haven’t done this in a while, so I’m a bit rusty. This episode… was not… the best. But what are you going to do? At least Rebekah insulted Elena a lot. That certainly helped. I just want everyone to find The Cure to realize it will kill you if you’ve been alive longer than your life span. I don’t know! Okay, here goes!
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Posted 2/10/13 at 11:08 pm ET

The Lying Game ‘Much Ado About Everything’ photo recap

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The Lying Game ‘Much Ado About Everything’, Season 2 Episode 5, photo recap

In this episode, Emma’s on to Sutton and Rebecca and Laurel learns about Emma.


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